Sunday, May 11, 2008

Jamia Hamdard University

Jamia Hamdard University has the following departments:

  • Dept. of Islamic Studies & Social Sciences
  • Dept. of Nursing
  • Dept. of Pharmacy
  • Dept. of Science
This makes it a secular University. I, Arjun and Madam Soniaji were there.

Soniaji in her speech went on and on about how good I have been as a Secular Sardarji Economist Prime Minister. I have expanded the educational infrastructure in the country. I have planned to open 370 new colleges in educationally-backward districts which include 90 minority-concentration districts. Good, I am glad I am doing Arjun's job so well.

Buddha says I am still goofing up on my job.


Arjun...being helped on the way out.

Arey bhai, innovative chamchagiri karo. His style was only suitable during the period when I was Indiraji


Friday, May 09, 2008

Mohin Kahan Vishram

Mohin Kahan Vishram’, is a collection of articles on Arjun Singhs public life. I made an unscheduled appearance at the function for releasing the book. I was a part of the general category of visitors. 56.52% seats which were reserved remained vacant through out the function.

Arjun, without mentioning Soniaji said that the “limited definition” of loyalty was prevalent within the Congress today. Earlier it was plain sycophancy, I wonder what it is now. I hope Arjun lets me in on this. My job is at stake.

Buddhadeb advocated the option for third front alleging that I had failed on all fronts. One has to be blind, foolish and even a liar to even claim that the communist have succeeded in any area!

Progress...this one was painted yesterday!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

It is not the feet, stupid!

I think we all got it wrong. Do you really think Mr. B G Jhalawadia the District Collector of Ameril is going for Narendrabhai's feet in this picture?

Meanwhile I addressed the IAS Probationers of 2007 in Delhi today. I was nice to them. None touched my feet or anywhere else. If Mayawati will become the PM then they will all have to feed her some cake. If Narendrabhai leads the nation....where do you think these young fresh faced young IAS officers will be touching him?
No touching, biching here...Maharani, Dalito ki rakhwali, Maya Memsaheb ko sirf cake khilao.


Saturday, May 03, 2008

The Amitabh Blog

I have competition! Big B is blogging. http://blogs.bigadda.com/ab/ I have put up the link here as Maya Memsaheb has no idea how to check on her competitors.


I really have nothing to blog about today so I have an interesting picture for you to digest.

Can you see the Oracle logo in the background? Oracle diversifying into virtual reality!







Friday, May 02, 2008

Wakf

"Wakf is a permanent dedication of movable or immovable properties for religious, pious or charitable purposes as recognized by Muslim Law. The Wakf Institutions deal with the religious, social and economic life of Muslims. They are not only supporting Mosques, Dargah etc. But many of them support Schools, Colleges, Hospitals and Musafirkhanas which are meant for social welfare."
Priyanka madam did meet Nalini Sriharan. Priyanka madam and her hubby meet me so many times without my security knowing about it. It is only that the Superintendent of Vellore Central Prison is not important enough to be informed if Priyanka Madam is visiting his prison.

The gate through which Priyanka madam did not enter Vellore Central Jail

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Modi gets support from Lashkar

Era of 'Delhi running the country' is over said Narendrabhai at CII conclave. Prof. Hafiz Muhammad Saeed of Lashkar-i-Tayyaba immediately declared his unflinching support for Narendrabhai.

Meanwhile, Time magazine has released the list of top 100 most influential people in the world. I am not one of them. Soniaji is! Ratan Tata is! I, as a Secular Sardarji Economist Prime Minister am unable to have a leaking fire hydrant outside my house fixed. Soniaji please help...

Over the years I have seen many lists. This is a very powerful and popular list. Still in my wildest imagination I cannot see Dalai Lama as the most influential person in the world. I think I will start reading Flimfare and watch their awards, they make lists in similar fashion.

The No 2 most influential person in Time magazine's editorial staff.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Times, they are a changing

I want to point to a rather unnoticed event. It may be the beginning of the end of Moditva. Modi lied in his public speech and said the 108 ambulance service in Gujarat was a state initiative and Gujarat was the first state to implement it. It was not. Definitely!

If he can lie about this, will the people of Gujarat ask themselves, is he lying about other things too?

EMRI the brain child of the Stayam Chief and was launched in AP first. Gujarat was the second. It had central funding.

Yeah, Narendra Modi is like Mayawati, Laloo, Mulayam, Arjun and Rahul...full of bullshit. Will Gujarat please take a note of this lie?

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Yuvraj supports me

Rahul just told the nation that I am a good PM and his leader. I am not happy about this. He should have said this some other time. With Harbhajan slapping Sreesanth only person who is interested in what Yuvraj said is me.

Or did Arjun tell Yuvraj that the time was right was to make a statement...

How do you like this for a crown, Yuvraj?




Thursday, April 24, 2008

Ahmadinejad in Delhi for 2 hours

Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's visit to New Delhi on April 29 will be for two hours only. If he chooses to meet Soniaji, I will be out!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Proud of Steel Prices

While laying the foundation stone for modernisation and expansion of the Bokaro Steel Plant, I told the steel manufacturers to not manipulate prices. It is quite an interesting thing to say. If Mittal buys couple of companies so that he can control the prices of steel and get rich, we, Indians are proud. So should we be proud of steel prices?

Anyway, my landing at Palm go delayed by 16 minutes today. The ATC noticed a unidentified blip on their radar....must be Rahul Gandhi..heheheheh. I hope Soniaji is not reading my blog today.


Mere Radar pe Kaun blip blip kar raha hai?

Monday, April 21, 2008

Gill pill for the Civil Servicse

I inaugurated the third Civil Services Day today. I told the top civil servants, “In the quest to build a modern nation, absorbing the best from the outside world, epitomizing Gandhiji’s vision of an inclusive society, the civil services have played an admirable role.”

Well, if you are inaugurating the Civil Services Day, you cannot speak about corruption, can you?

Here are some candid suggestion for the India Civil Service from the Secular Sardarji Economist Prime Minister.
  • Please stop eating Pan. All of you!
  • Please make sure that your kids get good values. It does not matter that you are corrupt, lecherous, sex starved maniac...your kids should not pull guns and rape foreigners.
  • If you have anything to say against Soniaji or Rahulbaba, please quit the congress and return to the civil service. We will make you the collector of Bundarghad.
  • Align yourself with a political party after 5 years into civil service. It will easier for all of us to plot and plan against each other.
  • If you are in an extremely high position please ensure that you take good training from Mr. Gill. I, myself, did not know that this election commissioner was in the congress till we made him the minister.
An inspirational Gill Pill for the Civil Service- Election Commissioner to Minister of State Sports & Youth Affair


Sunday, April 20, 2008

Politics of the Mango party

Tamil politics brings a different angle to my life. As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister I would have been bored to death with Arjuns and Laloos. Tamil politics keep me entertained and alive.


For example,what must have inspired my collation partner to name his son Stalin. I know he was born a few days before Stalin died, but still....can you imagine if he becomes the Foreign Minister of India!

Dr S. Ramadoss of Pattali Makkal Katchi is also from Tamil Nadu. In the early years he wanted to divide Tamil Nadu into two parts, one his vote bank and the rest. Now as a Minister in my government he went and met Soniaji and requested that we should have total prohibition in India. No booze! Soniaji agreed that it was a nice thought.

He also said there was no creamy layer in OBC. All the cream will be sour if we exclude the creamy layer from getting the reserved seats. Kaun vote dega?

By the way, for all those who are not from Tamil Nadu, the PMK's election symbol is a mango which is a fruit of the creamy class.



Saturday, April 19, 2008

Kolkata Knight Riders 1984

I thought you would like to know some history on the Kolkata Knight Riders. Here is the 1984 version. 


Ek Dhuje ke Liye

If you have slightest experience of Gully Cricket you would agree with me why India is most suitable nation to use IPL format. I as the Secular Saradarji Economist Prime Minister have a strong belief in this format.

Our entire nation, atleast the nation that I know of, has grown up playing cricket in this format.

1. We all get together in the evening.
2. We all want to have a good game of cricket and then eat wada pau
3. Two guys, usually the dominating types or good players become captains
4. First toss is to determine who starts selecting players
5. The captains choose the players amongst the lot willing to play that day. The best go first.
6. Toss again, this time for who bats first. It is almost given that the guy who wins will bat first and batting is joy and bowling and fielding is a punishment
7. You have 2 hours or less to finish the match. 
8. Innovative rules which require amazing control over the tennis balls are used. Ball goes into uncles house you are out, ball hits the neighboring wall full toss it is 4 runs otherwise 2 runs, you break a glass you are out etc etc
9. Enjoy your batting and keep an eye out to find which girl is watching you or keep eyeing all the girls passing by.
10. End your day with tons of gossip from the film industry, television, education and have a wada pau.

This looks more similar to IPL format...doesn't it? Indian gully cricket and IPL, ek dhuje ke liye!


Only the Wada Pau is served differently







Friday, April 18, 2008

Arjun Singh

It is quite obvious. I know that everyone knows that if I was really the Prime Minister I would have sacked Arjun Singh by now. Being the PM when you are not the PM is a challenge of this life. 

I have met many sycophants in my life, but Arjun Singh is unique. On February 21, 2008, Soniaji met his wife Saroj Devi requesting her to persuade Arjun Singh to give up his cabinet post. No, he did not. He retaliated by suggesting that Rahul should be the PM. But still, I cannot sack him...
 

When he was with Congress (Tiwari) he looked like a upper class peon in the RBI office

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Modi Show begins

Ok. IPL takes off tomorrow. Lalti Modi says you can see the pictures of the event on the internet... only if you are using safari as your browser. Steve Jobs has issued an special update for this.

You can also see the cricket matches only on one TV channel. Since Lalit Modi also brings FTV to India, you can watch live hidden cam broadcast of the cheerleaders and the dressing room on FTV.

Ravi Shashtri and Sunil Gavaskar will be the in-house commentators during the tournament. They are also on the governing body of IPL. Ashok Malik says that this will transform television broadcasting. Eventually the Election Commissioner will also be anchoring election news programmes on television.

I am just a Secular Economist Prime Minister busy protecting my job and will gladly leave this to Sharad Pawar. I like Sharad, he wants me as the PM.

Official booze, calendar, clevage and legs by the Daru ka Bhadsha