Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Back on 5th March

Folks, I will be back in the early part of March. May be I will be more intelligent when I return. But at the moment please tolerate the total blackout. My apologies.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Fisherman shot, looked like a donor

"One of them is not Cheney"

Pakistan loose the ODI series, call their vice president, shoot a fisherman, say he looked like a donor. No charges pressed.

I will be busy next 2 weeks. Cook Humphrey wanted to blog on my behalf. He says he runs the country as much as Soniaji does. I had to again explain to him that I am the Prime Minster.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Kumaraswamy served Paratha, pickle and Lassi

Supreme Court of India says marriage registration is a must. As you know that I have always been unsure about my birthday. I have even bloged about this and outlook has reported my concerns about my unknown birthday. But I have a marriage certificate. I even have a passport. And a ration card! It is time I took birth.

Karnataka Chief Minister H D Kumaraswamy and his deputy, Mr B S Yediyurappa met me. Cook Humphrey who has worked in many Udipi eateries in Thane district served Paratha, pickle and Lassi. They got the point.

The right is still on the right

The right is still on the right. Support of BJP is always like a choking man getting air from the garbage dump. Stinks but provides the oxygen. Right-Right, Right-Right, Right-Right…we march ahead.

My cook Humphreys advised me to count Christians in various Indian public services while I was counting. It is just counting so why not count more. I have decided to count the Sikhs. Actually, I should just count the upper caste Hindus. The rest are in my vote bank.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Breakthrough! RAW has broken through Bush’s mail box

Breakthrough! RAW has broken through Bush’s mail box. My editor came to know about this before me. I am just the Prime Minister…he is the editor! What is surprising is that there is not even a single mail about India. Or maybe the editor edited it. Check it out.

Monday, February 13, 2006


Karat has decided to call the third front, left-right, left-right, left-right, left-right…

My cook just told me that the SMS voting during Indian Idol on SONY TV is like our politically voting. After the results are out we all wonder how this happened.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Political Tourism

Karat has warned me through the media that a front with Pakistan and China is not enough. He wants to form a third front. Amazing chaps!

The new front will be to our left and will be subtlety be supported by the right. The right, which usually is far right, this time, will be very much on the left!

The tourism ministry is going to promote “political tourism” as one attraction of visiting India! I am quite excited as Bush visits us as a part of this.

Power Struggle

I have accepted a request from the Sikh Gurdwara Prabhandak Committee to attend a religious event it plans to hold at a gurdwara in Pakistan in June.I am also planning to invite L K Advani. This time around he will loose his job as a leader of the opposition.

Meanwhile Jaswant will visit Pakistan. But he does not have any significant job to loose. What a waste of time.

I still keep receiving emails everyday from people who want to know “ Why don’t we just build a few power plants?”. God, if they only knew about this power struggle!!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

B ++ outlook to power shortage in Mumbai

I have chosen to keep aside all issues and focus on ignoring the left. Focusing on ignoring is an art that we have mastered. We have ignored the power sector reform for a very long time. We may see Mumbai blink this summer. This may lead to a surge in sales of UPS and small generators. Also some of the battery companies may do well.

I have decided to give this news a positive B++ outlook in light of approaching budget and the following darkness in Mumbai.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Power sector reforms start with Rahul Gandhi!

There are global protests on a Sardarji’s plot to bring down the curtains on Windows. This cartoon was published in the year 2000. A Canadian Sardarji noticed it last year and the Danish newspaper printed it this year. Life is Amazing!

It is final! I am meeting Bush next month. I will challenge him to meet anyone from CPI (M).

I am inviting the Chief Ministers from all states for a high power meeting. We need to discuss the power sector reforms. Except Narendra Modi, all were willing to hand over power to Rahul Gandhi.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Run this country like UTI

I have told the chaps at the two-day conference of ministers in charge of rural drinking water supply and rural sanitation in their states to handle their shit. We have shit on the sidelines of runways, railways, subways and highways. We have defecated all-ways! We also buy US Shit and vote against Iran.

Russian Economic Development and Trade Minister German Gref met me. He wanted his billion dollars back. We have worked out a plan. 5 years as usual. And with the reinvestment clause! I run this country like UTI.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Thiruvananthapuram is the capital of India

Sachin Tendulkar may become the first batsman to be dropped for making centuries. He makes a ton we lose the match. As an economist Sardarji Prime Minister this is none of my business, but can’t I have an opinion? Even my security man agrees with this. Pawar may not. He is from the same part of the country.

Emirates Chairman and Chief Executive met me. Like all other Arabs he thinks that Thiruvananthapuram is the capital of India. He helloed me in Malayalam!

Sensex touched 10,000. CPI wanted all the sick units in Bengal and Kerala to benefit out of this. Karat called me and told me we should have Sensex reservation for BIFR companies. In return he may support me on my stand on Iran!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Maneka Gandhi and Basanti.

As the Prime Minister of this beleaguered nation I enjoyed watching “Rang de Basanti”. It is about Punjabis, MIG 21 and BJP. Some people also thought it was about animals since Maneka tried to ban it. I did see a couple of horses in the movie. Looked like the one that Deve Gauda wanted to trade in Karnataka assembly.

Anyway this movie is recommended for all by the Saradarji Economist Prime Minister.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Press conference without speaking

Oh, did I forget to mention that I gave a press conference without speaking?

Postal clerks?

Most Airports saunter along and some stumble. All workers look fat, misfit and like postal clerks. We should stop publishing their pictures if we do not want the private companies to change their mind.

Karnataka to get a new CM but the airports and traffic jams expected to remain the same.

Muslim women must not work with men or go out of their homes for shopping, the All India Muslim Personal Law Board said on Wednesday. But Sania can wear skirts and play tennis. The prayers in temples, mosques, gurudwaras and churches are working in case of Sania!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Aviation Ministry to Lalu

I may give the Aviation Ministry to Lalu. More accidents, no Coke, water in earthen pots and existing airports to be like Dadar railway station. A few more airports in obscure villages. Direct flights from Patna and Kokatta to these places flown by secular Pilots. And a Airbus center for maintenance at Bhojpur

And Nitish to be the passenger in the first flight says Lalu…hee hee hee!