Sunday, April 30, 2006

Tiwari’s suggestion for Kansa!

Sundays have an adverse impact on Tiwari. He made curd rice for breakfast He also asked me if Kansa did not want to let Devaki, and Vasudeva have their eight child, why did he not put them in separate cells in the prison.

I told him I had more important work to do like running the nation. I also told him that I am a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister and I eat parathas for breakfast!

Saturday, April 29, 2006

From Raj Kapoor to Deepa Mehta

Mahajan goes under CT scan. Reservation policy is under students scan. Banks are under SEBI scan. Mokama Anant Kumar Singh is under media scan. We are a nation under a scan.

I have been scanning for channels for the Al-Qaeda number two’s new video.

I spoke to Natwar last evening. I told him if he maligns the congress party by telling the truth, Soniaji will never take him back.

Have a good weekend. Do not drink too much. Drive carefully. Males in Delhi are specifically requested to not rape anyone. Police force in Mumbai is also requested to refrain from raping. Arjun should maintain his stoic silence over the weekend…and for the rest of his life.

May 1st we will start with Court hearings, Water and Medha Watt!

Talking about “Water”, Ventakesh my valet told me that Deepa’s movie has Lisa Ray in it. From Raj Kapoor to Deepa Mehta, the challenges of the Indian censor board have not changed.

Kapoor se Deepa tak
Jai Hind!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Turban around my mouth!

95% of the accounts in Karvy-DP fake. 5% of the actual account holders holding the 95%

I will tie my turban around my mouth for the next few days. Elections commissioner is on the prowl. I do not want to run the nation during election time and get trapped by him!

Election commission not happy with SEBI

Infosys is the world's 32nd most innovative firm. It is the only software company involved in building controversial airports.

Nandan ko gusa kyo ata hai?

SEBI cracks down on Indian Banks. All have been flouting norms! Some of them even requested the use of Firefox browser for trading!

Some of the banks under SEBI scanner are ICICI Bank, Standard Chartered Bank, UTI Bank, Kotak Mahindra Bank, Indusind Bank, Citibank, Stock Holding Corporation Of India, BNP Paribas, SSKI Investor Services and UCO Bank. Rs 3 million reward announced to name a bank which is not in the list of banned DP’s.

Election commission may notice this strong act of regulation, integrity and honesty as a political ploy. May equate it to an offer of free rice for one life time!

Nice to be home! I really feel like a Prime Minister today. Rahul is in UP!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Opal Mehta is Sloppy First due to a Second Helping from neighbors’ plate!

Uzbek philosopher and poet Alisher Navoi, said 565 years ago: "May the earth be an abode of delight, pleasure, songs and orchards, May peace ascend to throne of the world, and let all the peoples gather for its feast."

I am back in Indian and need such dreams. So does Nepal, Sir Lanka, Pakistan, Afghanistan….we need to move to a better neighborhood.

Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan’s plagiarized some sections for her book 'How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life', from two novels. Megan F. McCafferty, the 2001 book 'Sloppy Firsts' and the 2003 novel 'Second Helpings'. The campus newspaper the Harvard Crimson broke this story. I am impressed. Have these chaps running the Harvard Crimson heard of Bollywood?

Lalu told me that he will be careful while writing his memoirs. Inadvertently plagiarizing from memoirs of other Bihari leaders may tarnish his image as an intellectual. Other Bihari leader? Must have meant Rabri! or is it Chanakya?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Importance in Uzbekistan!

Most wonderful thing about being a Prime Minister is the feeling of importance you get in a country ignorant about Soniaji and Rahul. Thank you Uzbekistan!

Trouble in brewing in Lanka! I have always been suggesting that Indian should move to a better neighborhood.

I heard medical students demonstrated in front of Arjun’s house. Arjun told them he would meet their representatives only if 49.5 % of them were from the reserved category.

I am also worried about Pramod Mahajan's health. But this is the only thing which I can not act on so I will quit worrying and pray. Good Man, God Help him.

Dating in Tashkent

I am in Tashkent. I am a bit busy. And I am a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister. I am a Sardarji, a reformist, an economist, a PhD, a leader from the minority, architect of economic reforms, soft spoken…with this type of media coverage I will check with my wife if I can ask someone out for a date here.

Lal Bahadur Shastri had a date with death here.

Nepal is now ruled by the opposition which has the Maoist as their opposition. Managing opposition to the opposition is good for the ruling party but in this case the ruling party is also the opposition.

Maoists are not Chinese. Thanks for the information Venkat…I always thought they were from Bihar.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Angela Merkel will get her visa on time!

One of the major accomplishments in visiting Germany was getting my visa. German Chancellor Angela Merkel was very glad that her government could grant me the visa. German Chancellor Angela Merkel has accepted an invitation to visit India. I am sure she will get her visa on time.

King Gyanendra of Nepal announced he was recalling parliament. All seven opposition parties will be in the parliament, who will sit on the treasury benches? Quite a situation in Nepal as the country is run by opposition. I will watch this from Tashkent.

Ceremonial exit -:)

Ventakesh, my valet got me a note with the future of English on it “Haha JK!!! JK 4EVR! U R SO LOL – SOL!!! U R SBC CIA! NBC FBI FUBAR? NATO; BFF!!! :)” Amazing!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Fair Deal

Dr. Angela Dorothea Merkel and I are getting along fairly. There is a fair chance she will support the nuclear deal with the USA. We had a fairly cordial discussion with fairly simple sound bytes for the press. Germans have pledged to invest a billion Euros in Indian which is a fairly reasonable sum. Dr. Angela inquired about the health of Pramod….which is unfortunately fairly critical.

I do not think I will get my agenda fairly complete out here.

Angela Merkel - Fairly Noncommittal

I hope my Tashkent visit will be better, fairly better than this.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Pramod will be back soon!

We are praying Promod! This too shall pass! Even Soniaji is worried that a leader of your stature is critical. We will pray my friend.

Maoist PM!

Progress, Supreme Court annuls a talaq while partner is drunk or asleep. One now needs to be awake and sober to take a divorce. Finally some progress!

I told the chaps from the civil service they need to see themselves more than administrators. I actually wanted to tell them to stop taking bribes.

Maoist leader in Nepal called up Yechury, as soon as the king invited the seven party coalition to nominate a Prime Minister in Nepal. ‘Keeping the Maoists out of the frame will make Nepal ungovernable,” Yechury said. I will have to get my history right. In which part of the world Maoist and Communist exemplify democratic progress?


Friday, April 21, 2006

All Surnames changed to Shah!

Tata Consultancy Services CEO and Managing Director S Ramadorai entered the fray to win the Bharat Ratna. After Azimbhai’s “I look into your eye and show the finger” comment saying that recruitment in Wipro will only be based on merit, Mr. Ramadorai has done the same about the quota in educational institutes. With so many fingers point upwards my cabinet colleagues may notice the brewing trouble.

My cook Tiwari has suggested that we should all change our surnames. He said that preferred stock broker surnames like “Shah” or “Mehta” would do the job. Then how will anyone know a person is SC/ST/OBC?

Union Minister for Social Justice Meera Kumari is worried as to how they will get the benefits if they are not discriminated against?

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Reservations for all below 300 gms

Start building your relationship and tipping your friendly neighborhood postman Your RPL share certificates will get delivered by him as we introduce the Indian Post Office Amendment Bill, 2006. Alternatively, if Mukeshbhai decides to make the demat share certificate weigh more than 300 gms you may receive it by a courier service. It will also be a tech breakthrough!

We have reserved less weighty letters for the government employee who may also be an OBC.

I have decided not to kiss on the roads. The fine of Rs 500/- is too high for me. I will restrain myself. No more “one for the road” at the airport door!

I am in favor of accessibility of 50-year-old declassified papers. Let the historians get the truth about Ambedkar, Nehru and Patel.

RSS leads at 27 points

Hi folks. I hope you are having a good time watching television. I saw the Pepsi TV advertisement. As an Economist Sardarji Prime Minister I should not be commenting on the quality of advertisement, but let me. After this advert will your “dil mage more”? No way! I have told my cook Tiwari that we will have only Coke in the Prime Ministerial residence until Pepsi improves their advertisements.

Situation in Nepal is getting precarious! I have sent Karan Singh to Nepal as my envoy. I did this after Jaswant Singh sought my permission to visit Nepal. It seems the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh has come out in support of the only Hindu monarch in the world.

I give RSS 7 points for this. This takes their total to 27. This gives them a lead of 5 points over Hamas. Shahi Imam is way down at 5 points. With Togadia in hibernation (summers are hot in Ahmedabad) VHP is still not in the run. Who will win the ISI (Insane Sectarian Ideology) Trophy? The jury is still out. Go ahead and do something fanatic!

Worried and Angry Imam! Loosing lead fast

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Bharat Ratna to Azimbhai

I wear my turban tight. It keeps my real feelings wrapped up. Today, in my inner brain I awarded Bharat Ratna to Azim Premji for his plain speak. “No room for reservation at Wipro” Straight, simple and direct. Love you Azim.

Shahi attack!

I met Shahi Imam of Delhi’s Jama Masjid Syed Ahmed Shah Bukhari. He wanted the following:

  • Economic package for riot-hit Muslims on the line of one given to victims of 1984 anti-Sikh riots

  • Reservation of jobs for Muslims in central and state governments.

  • Immediate release of Muslims detained under Prevention of Terrorism Act in Gujarat and Maharashtra.

  • Immediate halt to alleged atrocities on Muslims in Assam on the plea of checking foreign nationals,

  • Restoration of the minority status for Aligarh Muslim University.

  • Unconditional talks with "popular and responsible" leaders of Kashmir.

  • Evacuation of illegal occupants from Waqf properties.

I couldn’t resist it. I asked him his Islamic view on the raising the height of the Narmada Dam. He later went out and fought with the journalist. Amazing chap.

Anyway, I preached the CII representatives on affirmative action. We will soon see data on caste, religion and even color in their annual report. Positive discrimination is called affirmative action.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Medha or Mega -Watt?

Good Morning. I just found out that Soniaji does not own her car...nor her copter. I am proud of Soniaji! She does not own all her stuff!

Great news! Medha and Narendra are a classic pair. Both have stopped fasting. This controversy is a copywriter’s delight! Did you hear Narendra bellow “What does the nation want? Medha or Mega (Watt)!”

I am also proud of myself. I have pushed a critical decision about the dam into the lap of the Supreme Court. I am successfully morphing from a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister to a shrewd manipulator. Also, I will stand by Somnath’s statement that the Judiciary should not interfere with the legislative.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Amir to do a retake on Activism!

I met a delegation “cutting across party lines” from Gujarat. It included Shankarsinh Waghela who managed to speak 3 correct sentences in Hindi and 1 correct sentence in English. But I got the drift right. They all want Medha to die…oops they want the construction of the Dam to continue. And it shall. And Arun Jaitely was also there. Polite aggression in rapid burst!

There was one chap from BJP, whom I failed to recognize. He handed me a list of questions for Amir Khan. I explained to him that I did not know Amir. I told him that congress has not provoked his window-shopping sphere for activism.

He still handed me the note. Here are the questions he wanted me to ask Amir:
  1. What is he doing about the right of Muslim Women?

  2. Has he found any NGO, which is reforming Madressas?

  3. Does he believe window-shopping for activism without an in-depth study is intelligent?
Or he would like to do a retake on this?

Act-e-vision not perfect. Take 2

Hungry Kya?

Hari Shankar Vyas of The Pioneer knows exactly what Arjun Singh was up to when he sent the file for reserving seats for OBC to me.

I am also sure that Hari also knows what Saifuddin Soz is up to when he threw the Narmada decision into my court. Please tell me. Anyway, Soz’s na├»veness has been excused. I with my political sophistication have passed the buck to the Supreme Court.

I want to be grateful to Narendar Modi. He has still not pointed out in public that Union Water Resources Minister Saifuddin Soz and Amir Khan are Muslims. Thank you.

Advaniji called up and told me to take a bold decision. I do not want to take any decision. I am pro development. I am an Economist Sardarji Prime Minister. Will someone tell me how to get Medha to eat?

Hungry kya?

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Fast ! Fast !

Construction of the Dam stopped! Modi to fast for 3 days. Ahmed Patel to call Soniaji. Soniaji to discuss the grave situation with me. I will give and take commitments for rehabilitation from all on a fast. Construction to continue after that…fast.

Meanwhile, 15 will die of violence in Gujarat, property worth Rs. 50 Cr destroyed. Amir Khan to get a life ban on visiting Gujarat. Union Water Resources Minister Saifuddin Soz is also going to be looking for some water to douse this fire.

Innovators in Our Midst

Innovators in Our Midst
None of my business, but innovation is everyone’s business.

Politically correct

Saturday Morning.

Got this from Venkat, my valet! He in turn got it from Wikipedia.

The Narmada Dam Project, known officially as the Sardar Sarovar Project (SSP), is a project involving the construction of a series of large hydroelectric dams on the Narmada River in India. The project was first conceived of in the 1940s by the country's first Prime Minister, Jawaharlal Nehru. The project only took form in 1979 as part of a development scheme to increase irrigation and produce hydroelectricity. The Narmada dam is India's most controversial dam project and its environmental impact and net costs and benefits are widely debated. The Narmada Dam has been the center of controversy and protest since the late 1980s.

Local protests taking the form of a genuine peoples movement, known as the Narmada Bachao Andolan (Save Narmada Movement) have been led by Medha Patkar. The World Bank was a funder of the SSP, but withdrew after an independent review in 1990. Indian writer Arundhati Roy has protested the Narmada Dam project.

And now Amir Khan also lends support to this.

I also know that Medha Patkar does not have the courage to visit Gujarat anymore.

This is the difference between China and India. This is a classic example.

Yeah so what is the point I am making on a Saturday Morning? As a Sardarji Economist Honest Prime Minister, I am hapless in this!

I think our worry that Muslims will take to the streets after the bomb blasts in unfounded. I have never heard the Imam of Jama Masjid in such a politically correct mode.

Friday, April 14, 2006

VHP Deplores the carefully planned blasts

VHP issues a statement. “Deplores the carefully planned, low intensity blast, designed to not harm human or monuments, in a place of religious worship which was not involved in any festivities on the day of the blast”

VHP did not have any comments on the Srinagar blasts. 5 killed, 30 injured, poor media coverage and no doubt of who is behind them. Why waste breath eh?

I am visiting Uzbekistan. Bush wants a regime change there too. This leaves only USA, where he does not want a regime change. UK? Don’t be funny; it is the first American colony.

Bangalore clam

Bangalore clam. I am still trying to find out if a similar thing would happen if some icon from the software industry in Bangalore is taken ill. Any ideas?

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Funeral to Pubs!

Police in Bangalore tried very hard to control the crowd at Rajkumar’s funeral. They burst tear gas shells. After the funeral they will return to their jobs of pulling down shutters of pubs on MG Road. Some from the same crowd will also participate in this activity with the Police.

I, as the Prime Minister have to say nice things. I am a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister and have to get votes for my party. ‘Will the Chief Minister of Infosys, Narayana Murthy say something about this? He is a good man; he will soon find the courage to say something.

Think Locally, Act Globally

I called up the Sri Lankan President. I am a bit concerned about the escalating violence there. I am also concerned about the violence in Nepal and Pakistan. Militant outfit continue to flourish in Bangladesh. Sometimes, I get tempted to change the neighborhood and move India to North America.

Was having a look at John Naisbitt’s “Global Paradox” found two interesting bits:

Tribalism is the belief in fidelity to one's own kind, defined by ethnicity, language, culture, religion, or, this late 20th century, profession. And this belief is flourishing.

The old adage: Think Globally, Act Locally should be flipped to Think Locally, Act Globally

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Maran sues Jaya TV

An eventful day!

Rajkumar death is heart breaking, told me the Mayor of Bangalore. He later called the Chief Minister of Infosys Narayana Murthy for emergency relief to rebuild Bangalore. I want to see a courageous Mr. Murthy criticize the behavior of the bereaved fans. Let us see this one. Yes I am waiting…

Sensex fell by 307 points as Dance Bars got their life back in Mumbai. Investors have found other avenues for investment?


I presented Ramnath Goenka Awards for Excellence in Journalism. I told the intelligent audience that the media has an important role to play in building a consensus, particularly in this era of coalition politics, though it may me more entertaining to air extreme views.

Meanwhile, my Minister Dayanidhi Maran has sued Vaiko to pay him Rs 1 crore for alleged defamatory remarks. Tamil daily Dina Malar, and Jaya TV, which reported these remarks are sued for Rs 1 lakh.

Dennis Hastert is not visiting Hyderabad

I hosted a dinner for the visiting US delegation led by Speaker of the House of Representatives, Dennis Hastert. He ate well and did not request to see Infosys. He is visiting Agra and Jaipur. Has he heard of Hyderabad? My cook Tiwari wanted to know.

Hastert is meeting Speaker Somnath Chatterjee today. All experiencing power outages should start praying.

I am impressed with the certainty Mumbai film industry thought that “law will take its own course” and Salman will go scot-free.

Iran has enriched some Uranium in the lab. Enough to strap around the waist of a volunteer, the press was informed at the White House.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Prime Ministerial Arzooo

Cyprus President arrived on a five-day visit. Why? President Papadopoulos will visit Infosys, Biocon, Tata Consultancy Service and Indian Institute of Science besides Bombay Stock Exchange before getting totally disillusioned with India.

I am meeting him. Let’s see if I can understand his Greek.

Sabeer Bhatia plans a Nano city in Haryana”. He should find a stable job for himself instead of finding these misguided Chief Ministers. This is my Prime Ministerial Arzooo!

Male(mail?) Arzoo and Drugs

The Meerut Conspiracy and Trial - 2006

The Meerut Trial 2006! The entire population including the OBC convicted for negligence and “chalta hai” attitude.

My heart weeps for the dead. I am sad.

Monday, April 10, 2006

France swims to India. Joins CPI (M)

France moves closer to India. Drops from Europe, swims around Africa, bounces past the Middle East to hit India with a few bruises! Feels comfortable in this part of the world! Wipes a tear, joins CPI (M). Says that it feels at home in a region where no one can implement any legislation.

CPI (M) ?

Feel a bit poor today. Gave President Hamid Karzai US $ 50 Million. I could have given it to the OBC, but bribing for National Security is more important then bribing vote banks.

Tom Crusie protecting the Afghan Chief

Dare reservation in Armed Forces

Ratan Tata wanted to know why we do not have reservation in the Armed Forces. This is one question which can be explored by Pranab.

If the rich can become Doctors by joining private college even if they obtain 60% marks, why not an OBC with the same percentage can become a doctor in AIIMS? Do we doubt the competence of AIIMS and IIMs?

Sam Pitroda called me to tell me that “Arjun Singh has a problem” Yes thank you for the news!

Eye of the storm

You may visit your local SBI branch today to congratulate the Team SBI.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Karzai reserved!

Afghan President Hamid Karzai arrived in India. He came in with 10 ministers. We have reserved a lot of time for him. President APJ Abdul Kalam has reserved an evening, Vice-President Bhairon Singh Shekhawat an afternoon and Soniaji has reserved an hour for him. He deserves this reservation.

We will also request him to reserve some seats in his cabinet for our old friends in the Northern Alliance.

I am reserving my comments on the reservation issue till the elections are over. I must say that there is more work on my table and reservation is not my mind at the moment!

Internet Reserved

Too much Blogging against reservation for OBC! Maran proposes 49.5 % of the Internet to be reserved for SC/ST and OBC.

I am still unsure if I have approved this or not. God, sometimes I do not know of the happenings in the next cubicle.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Banaras endorses Mandal

Banaras” endorses Mandal. 50% upper class good-looking women reserved for lower caste, good looking classical singers.

Friday, April 07, 2006

The monopoly of Islamic clerics

If we reserve 50 % of the seats in Central institutions we may not get more votes. But we will get stronger reusable vote banks. There will be some negative media coverage. This will result in loss of some votes. Mainly the fence sitters in Upper Caste Hindu vote bank will return to BJP. My Cabinet colleagues fear that Mulayam and Maya may gain some ground by surreptitiously claming credit for this national achievement.

If we smartly reserve 50 % of the seats for various communities we will appease 90% of all the people who vote during the election. If you consider 90% of people who vote a “vote bank” you are crazy! It is the entire electorate!

Education? What has Mandal go to do with Education? Arjun Singh wanted to know.

Pramod Navalkar is determined to get at the bottom of the wardrobe malfunctions at the Lakme Fashion Week. He told me that this persistence on his part has nothing to do with breaking the monopoly of Islamic clerics!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

NASSCOM worried!

Initial Jobless Claims Fall by 5,000 in the USA! Ford to maintain balance by cutting up to 30,000 jobs and closing 14 plants by 2012.

Chairperson and chief executive of Ford, Bill Ford-simles

NASSCOM is worried that jobless Claims fell by 5,000. Are they opening call centers in New Jersey again?

I met and congratulated our medal winners of Melbourne Commonwealth Games today. I also congratulated the Indian Olympic Association for winning the medal for having the highest number of officials in a contingent. They are going to definitely win this medal in Delhi.

I am impressed what our shooters could do without taking steroids. I wished them the best to compete
with Aishwarya and Rani for media space in the next games.

Idlis for breakfast today

Good media coverage of Ms Rice’s testimony on the Indo-US nuclear deal in front of the Senate Foreign Affairs Committee. The US, Pakistani, Iranian and Indian media have a lot to say this morning. I am impressed! Iran has a media! reports “US concerned over India-Iran ties”.

Anyway, I know that it went well, but the path ahead is long and difficult. Our energy needs are huge. Our Politicians are fools. Our Bureaucrats are corrupt. Our Muslims link our ties with Iran to their religion. CPI believes that they are Russians and living 1960. We do not have any Jews to lobby our cause in US. My cook, Tiwari thinks Ms Rice puts on too much lipstick. A tough job ahead for all!

Good Morning India!

I am having Idlis for breakfast today. I have started eating South Indian food since
elections dates were declared. West Bengal also has elections, but Pranab is eating all the misti dahi on my behalf. Assam also had elections, but North–East has been isolated for so long I do not know what they eat out there!

Meanwhile, I have put Medha Patkar in Hospital ! I do not want anything to happen to her for another 20 years. By that time the Narmada project will be completed!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Visit Iran, Visit Iran.

I got delayed at Panipat. My Helicopter developed a technical snag. Called up Praful! No, Praful told me, this service has not been merged with Air India, yet.

The merger of the two national carriers — Indian Airlines and Air-India — would take place this year and the joint entity will be called Indian. Venkatesh my personal valet did a Google Image search on "Indian Logo" and here are the results…click here!

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has urged Congress to ratify a deal to give us the civil nuclear technology. We desperately need energy.

I plan to do the following if the Congress does not ratify the Nuke deal:
  • Sulk
  • Get Friendly…more friendly with Putin
  • Visit Iran
  • Visit Iran
  • Visit Iran
  • Visit Iran
  • Visit USA
  • Visit Iran
Medha is on a hunger strike. I prayed that she remains well. I have country to run, a dam to build and miles to go before I sleep! Medha, please drink the juice I send and let the water flow on the adivasi land! I have no time nor energy to face Narendra's wrath!

Reproduction problems in Rajasthan

A donkey is like a housewife” informs the children textbook approved by the state of Rajasthan, according to The Times of India.

A hinny is the offspring of a male horse and a female donkey. Hinnies are difficult to obtain because of the differences in the number of chromosomes of the horse and the donkey. A donkey has 62 chromosomes, a horse 64. Hinnies being hybrids of those two species have only 63 chromosomes and are sterile. The uneven number results in an incomplete reproductive system. The Times of India has discovered a potential cause of failure in reproductive system in Rajasthan. Excellent investigative journalism!

But this health problem will be compounded if the assumption that the male in Rajasthan is a horse fails. He may be a pig! A Male Chauvinist Pig! Or an Onager which is large mammal belonging to the horse family and is sometimes known as the Half Ass.

I will have to speak with Smt. Vasundhara Raje. This is serious.

Advani is off on a Yatra. Soniaji is also off seeking justice somewhere. Right time for a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister to get some work done in the capital!

My cook Tiwari wanted a Bluetooth enabled Owen in our kitchen. I said I can arrange for some red-teeth through Singh, my chief of security.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Reservation in IIM C

Sex workers in WB threaten to Boycott polls! Left Front constituents CPI (M) and Forward Bloc to consider reservation in IIM C.

Amma to rise above herself!

It will very sad that we will be soon compelling IITs and IIMs to choose teachers based on their caste. IIM-A Director Bakul Dholakia suggested he can do this provided it is Upper Caste only.

Zicom surveillance system will monitor major traffic junctions in Mumbai. Now you can watch the cops raping kids live, reports BBC.

Indian military will use high tech evasive techniques to fool Google Earth. Tenders for waterproof tarpaulin have been floated, the Chief of Army staff told me this morning.

Tiwari, my cook wanted to know if I had seen Jaylalitha making all her speeches from the air-conditioned van during her campaigning in Pondicherry? It is not because she wants the comfort of the air-conditioning; she just cannot raise herself above herself!

V for Vorry!

Monday, April 03, 2006

Summer 06 Bush-Blair Collection

55% of Assam voted. The rest were visiting relatives in Bangladesh.

BJP is a bit upset about my conduct during the campaign. I said “Hum is par vichar karenge” to a petition from a group from Karbi who gave me a memorandum. They were asking for financial relief for the victims of ethnic violence. What does Mahajan expect me to say? “You will have to ask BJP for this” or should I say “Please vote for BJP” or “Hum apake hai kaun?”

Hyderabad wants IT” Says Infosys CFO Pai. Many others in the same state want food, water and electricity. A few farmers’ wives want their husband alive.

Britain launched a national law enforcement unit modeled on the United States' FBI on Monday to tackle what Prime Minister Tony Blair called the "tyranny" of organized crime” reported Reuters. Tony Blair is also starting his new summer 06 collection which is modeled around the Summer 06 Bush collection.

Hum sath sath hai! Summer 06 Bush-Blair Collection.

Ahmedabad Airport ? Really?

Ahmedabad has an airport?I thought it only had an IIM! The international terminal is being developed by CPG consultants who built Singapore's plush Changi airport. Amazing what this Modi is doing in secret! We should take it up in the parliament that secret airports are not allowed!

A right wing Hindu airport near completion

I called for youth of Assam to maintain peace and not be misguided. Misguided people in Assam call me misguided and useless. We have a misguided history in North–East. Most of the history here has been misguided by partition, religion, infiltration and Congress. Congress has always been a part of misguidance as it was misguiding the nation most of the time after the misguided freedom.

I may face my first outright defeat as I am not a capable leader to launch aggressive action against Maoists, reports Sudhir Chadda of India Daily. He feels that academicians are not aggressive. Good, do you want Bal Thackeray to be the PM to take on the Maoist? Don’t you know I fight the communist daily?

Sunday, April 02, 2006

PC not to autograph!

Just got a call from PC. Says, that he will resign before signing an autograph on an ATM card. Ok. He is not signing anything. SBI will go on strike anyway. SBI will loose customers anyway. SBI may remain a retail bank for another 10 years.

SBI welcomes new year!

SBI staff plans indefinite strike from Monday

Rest of the banking sector taking unfair opportunity to compete with us says All India SBI Staff Federation general secretary Prafulla Patnaik while declaring strike.

HDFC is going to declare themselves 24x7, strike free, holiday less, human free bank to woo SBI customers. PC has offered his autograph on the ATM cards of customers who switch from SBI to HDFC during this phase!

Prafulla this a Bengali name?

Mumbai, Delhi or Infosys

Infosys’s CFO T.V. Mohandas Pai participated in the debate on NDTV yesterday. He debated the collapsing infrastructure in major Indian cities. He provided insights which the other experts in architecture and town planning could not imagine.

R. Narayana Murthy, Chairman of the Board and Chief Mentor Infosys, will participate in the next NDTV debate on wardrobe malfunctioning along with Ritu Beri.

Nandan M. Nilekani - Chief Executive Officer, President and Managing Director Infosys will participate in the next debate on which is the greatest city in India. Is it Mumbai, Delhi or Infosys?

Meanwhile, our efforts to get the US congress to approve the nuke deal have hit a major hurdle. The clause which Shyam Saran and I do not like is that “this deal is being made with the intention of bringing the entire nuclear establishment under the purview of IAEA”. This is an afterthought. I am having a afterthought too, let’s stick with Russia. They just delivered the Uranium.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Desi Paradox

Software piracy close to 73 % in India. All of it is in the private sector! We in Government use 100% legal software? Does this tell you something about our businessmen?

One of the biggest paradoxes in India is; while Indian private sector wants the Government to reform and give them a free hand, the private sector itself curbs the creative freedom for their employees! I know, my cook’s son works in an MNC and he told me that he couldn’t blog, watch porn or the stock ticker at work. Such restriction hardly fosters creativity.