Sunday, April 30, 2006
I told him I had more important work to do like running the nation. I also told him that I am a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister and I eat parathas for breakfast!
Saturday, April 29, 2006
I have been scanning for channels for the Al-Qaeda number two’s new video.
I spoke to Natwar last evening. I told him if he maligns the congress party by telling the truth, Soniaji will never take him back.
Have a good weekend. Do not drink too much. Drive carefully. Males in Delhi are specifically requested to not rape anyone. Police force in Mumbai is also requested to refrain from raping. Arjun should maintain his stoic silence over the weekend…and for the rest of his life.
May 1st we will start with Court hearings, Water and Medha Watt!
Talking about “Water”, Ventakesh my valet told me that Deepa’s movie has Lisa Ray in it. From Raj Kapoor to Deepa Mehta, the challenges of the Indian censor board have not changed.
Friday, April 28, 2006
I will tie my turban around my mouth for the next few days. Elections commissioner is on the prowl. I do not want to run the nation during election time and get trapped by him!
Some of the banks under SEBI scanner are ICICI Bank, Standard Chartered Bank, UTI Bank, Kotak Mahindra Bank, Indusind Bank, Citibank, Stock Holding Corporation Of India, BNP Paribas, SSKI Investor Services and UCO Bank. Rs 3 million reward announced to name a bank which is not in the list of banned DP’s.
Election commission may notice this strong act of regulation, integrity and honesty as a political ploy. May equate it to an offer of free rice for one life time!
Nice to be home! I really feel like a Prime Minister today. Rahul is in UP!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
I am back in Indian and need such dreams. So does Nepal, Sir Lanka, Pakistan, Afghanistan….we need to move to a better neighborhood.
Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan’s plagiarized some sections for her book 'How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life', from two novels. Megan F. McCafferty, the 2001 book 'Sloppy Firsts' and the 2003 novel 'Second Helpings'. The campus newspaper the Harvard Crimson broke this story. I am impressed. Have these chaps running the Harvard Crimson heard of Bollywood?
Lalu told me that he will be careful while writing his memoirs. Inadvertently plagiarizing from memoirs of other Bihari leaders may tarnish his image as an intellectual. Other Bihari leader? Must have meant Rabri! or is it Chanakya?
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Trouble in brewing in Lanka! I have always been suggesting that Indian should move to a better neighborhood.
I heard medical students demonstrated in front of Arjun’s house. Arjun told them he would meet their representatives only if 49.5 % of them were from the reserved category.
I am also worried about Pramod Mahajan's health. But this is the only thing which I can not act on so I will quit worrying and pray. Good Man, God Help him.
Lal Bahadur Shastri had a date with death here.
Nepal is now ruled by the opposition which has the Maoist as their opposition. Managing opposition to the opposition is good for the ruling party but in this case the ruling party is also the opposition.
Maoists are not Chinese. Thanks for the information Venkat…I always thought they were from Bihar.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
King Gyanendra of Nepal announced he was recalling parliament. All seven opposition parties will be in the parliament, who will sit on the treasury benches? Quite a situation in Nepal as the country is run by opposition. I will watch this from Tashkent.
Ventakesh, my valet got me a note with the future of English on it “Haha JK!!! JK 4EVR! U R SO LOL – SOL!!! U R SBC CIA! NBC FBI FUBAR? NATO; BFF!!! :)” Amazing!
Monday, April 24, 2006
I do not think I will get my agenda fairly complete out here.
I hope my Tashkent visit will be better, fairly better than this.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
I told the chaps from the civil service they need to see themselves more than administrators. I actually wanted to tell them to stop taking bribes.
Maoist leader in Nepal called up Yechury, as soon as the king invited the seven party coalition to nominate a Prime Minister in Nepal. ‘Keeping the Maoists out of the frame will make Nepal ungovernable,” Yechury said. I will have to get my history right. In which part of the world Maoist and Communist exemplify democratic progress?
Friday, April 21, 2006
My cook Tiwari has suggested that we should all change our surnames. He said that preferred stock broker surnames like “Shah” or “Mehta” would do the job. Then how will anyone know a person is SC/ST/OBC?
Union Minister for Social Justice Meera Kumari is worried as to how they will get the benefits if they are not discriminated against?
Thursday, April 20, 2006
We have reserved less weighty letters for the government employee who may also be an OBC.
I have decided not to kiss on the roads. The fine of Rs 500/- is too high for me. I will restrain myself. No more “one for the road” at the airport door!
I am in favor of accessibility of 50-year-old declassified papers. Let the historians get the truth about Ambedkar, Nehru and Patel.
Situation in Nepal is getting precarious! I have sent Karan Singh to Nepal as my envoy. I did this after Jaswant Singh sought my permission to visit Nepal. It seems the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh has come out in support of the only Hindu monarch in the world.
I give RSS 7 points for this. This takes their total to 27. This gives them a lead of 5 points over Hamas. Shahi Imam is way down at 5 points. With Togadia in hibernation (summers are hot in Ahmedabad) VHP is still not in the run. Who will win the ISI (Insane Sectarian Ideology) Trophy? The jury is still out. Go ahead and do something fanatic!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I wear my turban tight. It keeps my real feelings wrapped up. Today, in my inner brain I awarded Bharat Ratna to Azim Premji for his plain speak. “No room for reservation at Wipro” Straight, simple and direct. Love you Azim.
- Economic package for riot-hit Muslims on the line of one given to victims of 1984 anti-Sikh riots
- Reservation of jobs for Muslims in central and state governments.
- Immediate release of Muslims detained under Prevention of Terrorism Act in Gujarat and Maharashtra.
- Immediate halt to alleged atrocities on Muslims in Assam on the plea of checking foreign nationals,
- Restoration of the minority status for Aligarh Muslim University.
- Unconditional talks with "popular and responsible" leaders of Kashmir.
- Evacuation of illegal occupants from Waqf properties.
I couldn’t resist it. I asked him his Islamic view on the raising the height of the Narmada Dam. He later went out and fought with the journalist. Amazing chap.
Anyway, I preached the CII representatives on affirmative action. We will soon see data on caste, religion and even color in their annual report. Positive discrimination is called affirmative action.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Great news! Medha and Narendra are a classic pair. Both have stopped fasting. This controversy is a copywriter’s delight! Did you hear Narendra bellow “What does the nation want? Medha or Mega (Watt)!”
I am also proud of myself. I have pushed a critical decision about the dam into the lap of the Supreme Court. I am successfully morphing from a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister to a shrewd manipulator. Also, I will stand by Somnath’s statement that the Judiciary should not interfere with the legislative.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Sunday, April 16, 2006
There was one chap from BJP, whom I failed to recognize. He handed me a list of questions for Amir Khan. I explained to him that I did not know Amir. I told him that congress has not provoked his window-shopping sphere for activism.
He still handed me the note. Here are the questions he wanted me to ask Amir:
- What is he doing about the right of Muslim Women?
- Has he found any NGO, which is reforming Madressas?
- Does he believe window-shopping for activism without an in-depth study is intelligent?
I am also sure that Hari also knows what Saifuddin Soz is up to when he threw the Narmada decision into my court. Please tell me. Anyway, Soz’s naïveness has been excused. I with my political sophistication have passed the buck to the Supreme Court.
I want to be grateful to Narendar Modi. He has still not pointed out in public that Union Water Resources Minister Saifuddin Soz and Amir Khan are Muslims. Thank you.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Meanwhile, 15 will die of violence in Gujarat, property worth Rs. 50 Cr destroyed. Amir Khan to get a life ban on visiting Gujarat. Union Water Resources Minister Saifuddin Soz is also going to be looking for some water to douse this fire.
Got this from Venkat, my valet! He in turn got it from Wikipedia.
The Narmada Dam Project, known officially as the Sardar Sarovar Project (SSP), is a project involving the construction of a series of large hydroelectric dams on the Narmada River in India. The project was first conceived of in the 1940s by the country's first Prime Minister, Jawaharlal Nehru. The project only took form in 1979 as part of a development scheme to increase irrigation and produce hydroelectricity. The Narmada dam is India's most controversial dam project and its environmental impact and net costs and benefits are widely debated. The Narmada Dam has been the center of controversy and protest since the late 1980s.
Local protests taking the form of a genuine peoples movement, known as the Narmada Bachao Andolan (Save Narmada Movement) have been led by Medha Patkar. The World Bank was a funder of the SSP, but withdrew after an independent review in 1990. Indian writer Arundhati Roy has protested the Narmada Dam project.
And now Amir Khan also lends support to this.
I also know that Medha Patkar does not have the courage to visit Gujarat anymore.
This is the difference between China and India. This is a classic example.
Yeah so what is the point I am making on a Saturday Morning? As a Sardarji Economist Honest Prime Minister, I am hapless in this!
I think our worry that Muslims will take to the streets after the bomb blasts in unfounded. I have never heard the Imam of Jama Masjid in such a politically correct mode.
Friday, April 14, 2006
VHP did not have any comments on the Srinagar blasts. 5 killed, 30 injured, poor media coverage and no doubt of who is behind them. Why waste breath eh?
I am visiting Uzbekistan. Bush wants a regime change there too. This leaves only USA, where he does not want a regime change. UK? Don’t be funny; it is the first American colony.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
I, as the Prime Minister have to say nice things. I am a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister and have to get votes for my party. ‘Will the Chief Minister of Infosys, Narayana Murthy say something about this? He is a good man; he will soon find the courage to say something.
Was having a look at John Naisbitt’s “Global Paradox” found two interesting bits:
Tribalism is the belief in fidelity to one's own kind, defined by ethnicity, language, culture, religion, or, this late 20th century, profession. And this belief is flourishing.
The old adage: Think Globally, Act Locally should be flipped to Think Locally, Act Globally
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Rajkumar death is heart breaking, told me the Mayor of Bangalore. He later called the Chief Minister of Infosys Narayana Murthy for emergency relief to rebuild Bangalore. I want to see a courageous Mr. Murthy criticize the behavior of the bereaved fans. Let us see this one. Yes I am waiting…
Sensex fell by 307 points as Dance Bars got their life back in Mumbai. Investors have found other avenues for investment?
I presented Ramnath Goenka Awards for Excellence in Journalism. I told the intelligent audience that the media has an important role to play in building a consensus, particularly in this era of coalition politics, though it may me more entertaining to air extreme views.
Meanwhile, my Minister Dayanidhi Maran has sued Vaiko to pay him Rs 1 crore for alleged defamatory remarks. Tamil daily Dina Malar, and Jaya TV, which reported these remarks are sued for Rs 1 lakh.
Hastert is meeting Speaker Somnath Chatterjee today. All experiencing power outages should start praying.
I am impressed with the certainty Mumbai film industry thought that “law will take its own course” and Salman will go scot-free.
Iran has enriched some Uranium in the lab. Enough to strap around the waist of a volunteer, the press was informed at the White House.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
I am meeting him. Let’s see if I can understand his Greek.
“Sabeer Bhatia plans a Nano city in Haryana”. He should find a stable job for himself instead of finding these misguided Chief Ministers. This is my Prime Ministerial Arzooo!
Monday, April 10, 2006
but bribing for National Security is more important then bribing vote banks.
If the rich can become Doctors by joining private college even if they obtain 60% marks, why not an OBC with the same percentage can become a doctor in AIIMS? Do we doubt the competence of AIIMS and IIMs?
Sam Pitroda called me to tell me that “Arjun Singh has a problem” Yes thank you for the news!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
We will also request him to reserve some seats in his cabinet for our old friends in the Northern Alliance.
I am reserving my comments on the reservation issue till the elections are over. I must say that there is more work on my table and reservation is not my mind at the moment!
I am still unsure if I have approved this or not. God, sometimes I do not know of the happenings in the next cubicle.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Friday, April 07, 2006
If we smartly reserve 50 % of the seats for various communities we will appease 90% of all the people who vote during the election. If you consider 90% of people who vote a “vote bank” you are crazy! It is the entire electorate!
Education? What has Mandal go to do with Education? Arjun Singh wanted to know.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
NASSCOM is worried that jobless Claims fell by 5,000. Are they opening call centers in New Jersey again?
I met and congratulated our medal winners of Melbourne Commonwealth Games today. I also congratulated the Indian Olympic Association for winning the medal for having the highest number of officials in a contingent. They are going to definitely win this medal in Delhi.
I am impressed what our shooters could do without taking steroids. I wished them the best to compete with Aishwarya and Rani for media space in the next games.
Anyway, I know that it went well, but the path ahead is long and difficult. Our energy needs are huge. Our Politicians are fools. Our Bureaucrats are corrupt. Our Muslims link our ties with Iran to their religion. CPI believes that they are Russians and living 1960. We do not have any Jews to lobby our cause in US. My cook, Tiwari thinks Ms Rice puts on too much lipstick. A tough job ahead for all!
Good Morning India!
I am having Idlis for breakfast today. I have started eating South Indian food since elections dates were declared. West Bengal also has elections, but Pranab is eating all the misti dahi on my behalf. Assam also had elections, but North–East has been isolated for so long I do not know what they eat out there!
Meanwhile, I have put Medha Patkar in Hospital ! I do not want anything to happen to her for another 20 years. By that time the Narmada project will be completed!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The merger of the two national carriers — Indian Airlines and Air-India — would take place this year and the joint entity will be called Indian. Venkatesh my personal valet did a Google Image search on "Indian Logo" and here are the results…click here!
US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has urged Congress to ratify a deal to give us the civil nuclear technology. We desperately need energy.
I plan to do the following if the Congress does not ratify the Nuke deal:
- Get Friendly…more friendly with Putin
- Visit Iran
- Visit Iran
- Visit Iran
- Visit Iran
- Visit USA
- Visit Iran
A hinny is the offspring of a male horse and a female donkey. Hinnies are difficult to obtain because of the differences in the number of chromosomes of the horse and the donkey. A donkey has 62 chromosomes, a horse 64. Hinnies being hybrids of those two species have only 63 chromosomes and are sterile. The uneven number results in an incomplete reproductive system. The Times of India has discovered a potential cause of failure in reproductive system in Rajasthan. Excellent investigative journalism!
But this health problem will be compounded if the assumption that the male in Rajasthan is a horse fails. He may be a pig! A Male Chauvinist Pig! Or an Onager which is large mammal belonging to the horse family and is sometimes known as the Half Ass.
I will have to speak with Smt. Vasundhara Raje. This is serious.
Advani is off on a Yatra. Soniaji is also off seeking justice somewhere. Right time for a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister to get some work done in the capital!
My cook Tiwari wanted a Bluetooth enabled Owen in our kitchen. I said I can arrange for some red-teeth through Singh, my chief of security.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Zicom surveillance system will monitor major traffic junctions in Mumbai. Now you can watch the cops raping kids live, reports BBC.
Indian military will use high tech evasive techniques to fool Google Earth. Tenders for waterproof tarpaulin have been floated, the Chief of Army staff told me this morning.
Tiwari, my cook wanted to know if I had seen Jaylalitha making all her speeches from the air-conditioned van during her campaigning in Pondicherry? It is not because she wants the comfort of the air-conditioning; she just cannot raise herself above herself!
Monday, April 03, 2006
BJP is a bit upset about my conduct during the campaign. I said “Hum is par vichar karenge” to a petition from a group from Karbi who gave me a memorandum. They were asking for financial relief for the victims of ethnic violence. What does Mahajan expect me to say? “You will have to ask BJP for this” or should I say “Please vote for BJP” or “Hum apake hai kaun?”
“Hyderabad wants IT” Says Infosys CFO Pai. Many others in the same state want food, water and electricity. A few farmers’ wives want their husband alive.
“Britain launched a national law enforcement unit modeled on the United States' FBI on Monday to tackle what Prime Minister Tony Blair called the "tyranny" of organized crime” reported Reuters. Tony Blair is also starting his new summer 06 collection which is modeled around the Summer 06 Bush collection.
I called for youth of Assam to maintain peace and not be misguided. Misguided people in Assam call me misguided and useless. We have a misguided history in North–East. Most of the history here has been misguided by partition, religion, infiltration and Congress. Congress has always been a part of misguidance as it was misguiding the nation most of the time after the misguided freedom.
I may face my first outright defeat as I am not a capable leader to launch aggressive action against Maoists, reports Sudhir Chadda of India Daily. He feels that academicians are not aggressive. Good, do you want Bal Thackeray to be the PM to take on the Maoist? Don’t you know I fight the communist daily?
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Rest of the banking sector taking unfair opportunity to compete with us says All India SBI Staff Federation general secretary Prafulla Patnaik while declaring strike.
HDFC is going to declare themselves 24x7, strike free, holiday less, human free bank to woo SBI customers. PC has offered his autograph on the ATM cards of customers who switch from SBI to HDFC during this phase!
Prafulla Patnaik...is this a Bengali name?
R. Narayana Murthy, Chairman of the Board and Chief
Meanwhile, our efforts to get the
Saturday, April 01, 2006
One of the biggest paradoxes in India is; while Indian private sector wants the Government to reform and give them a free hand, the private sector itself curbs the creative freedom for their employees! I know, my cook’s son works in an MNC and he told me that he couldn’t blog, watch porn or the stock ticker at work. Such restriction hardly fosters creativity.