Friday, May 19, 2006

Back on 3rd June. Love you all ! OBC, SC, ST, UP, MP and TN

Time to de-blog! A Prime Ministerial break from this daily activity.

I hope this break rejuvenates my grey cells, sharpens my wit and makes me courageous to be a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister that I am.

I will be back on 3 rd June. Even history is interesting; continue your search on this blog for insanity on this blog!

Thanks for being here today.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Market crash and Da Vinci unleashed! Both with disclaimers!

Worried about Da Vinci, Subhash, Market crash and reservation? Try this.

Only if you have sense of humor you May click the Prime Ministerial link below.

Indians are know to be the world's most noisy and smelly people. They actaully want to chatter from morning to evening and since the speech melody of Hindi goes tic-TAC-tic-TAC-tic-TAC-tic-TAC...

Enjoy. Laugh. It is not about you eh?

Ban! Ban!

Most of the owners of multiplexes are worried. The entire nation has watched the Da Vinci Code on TV and discussed the plot in churches. Also, a retired Supreme Court Justice has submitted a report that says that Netaji died as Bhagwanji-Gumnami Baba. I am planning to ban both.

Da Vinci Code


Wednesday, May 17, 2006

“7 Habits of highly effective Politicians” by Lalu Yadav

Natwar Singh spent his birthday in solitude. I sent him a copy of “7 Habits of highly effective Politicians” by Lalu Yadav as a birthday gift. He thanked me and told me he will take it up as soon as he finishes “Successful Corruption for Dummies” by Sharad Pawar.



Pakistani opposition leader Maulana Fazlur Rehman arrived in India for talks aimed at improving India-Pakistan relations. Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto also had a chat in London. Actually, the Pakistani opposition needs to improve relationship amongst themselves.


We have defined the “office of Profit”. NDA is not happy with it. They wanted the unemployed children of all MPs included on the list. It is the primary office of Profit, they claimed.

And I am not going to mention the reservation issue today. Just to make you guys wonder if I am running the country or am just a stooge.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Cabinet discusses Windows Media player 11

We had a cabinet meeting yesterday. All important issues were discussed thread bear. We discussed the impact of Windows Media player 11 beta which is to be released on 17 May will have on our younger generation. We also discussed international issues like the fact that most cutting edge technology is first utilized by the online porn industry. Porn Producer Vivid will now allow you to burn sex on to a DVD online. What impact such technology will have on our software industry and is our software industry porn-ready? We also solved the issue of reservation by having Pranab Mukherjee speak in Bonglish to the media.

U.S. established full diplomatic relations with Libya after 26 years. Amazing! 2010 coalitions may have BJP in power supported by CPI (M). I happy for Gaddafi! I am also happy for Yechury.


I asked my cook Tiwari; he is from UP, a state with 100% secular caste politics; how can I identify a person from higher caste? Tiwari told me that he learnt his cooking in an Udipi restaurant in Mumbai and has no idea. But he added he can differentiate between Tulu and Kanada…which I told him were languages and not caste!

Monday, May 15, 2006

India exports hardware to Israel

Good Morning and welcome to a new week. I promise you more excitement with a few canings of students, some brutal, some with medical precision. Arjun Singh, my senior colleague and a senior tumor in the cabinet will ensure supply of fuel to the fire…even with me, Murli Deora and Kamal Nath hiking the price of petrol.


Called up the Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and congratulated him. Under his guidance Jews will now be as chosen as they were under Ariel Sharon. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will ensure the chosen status. So will Steven Spielberg.

India is currently Israel's second largest trading partner in Asia after China. India exports hardware to Israel…Diamonds…very hard and good to wear. They are self-sufficient in soft services like configuring a dial up internet connection.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Sun TV Now!

A total defeat of the communal forces. We secularist fought each other and won. Some are red, some blue and some Dravida Munnettra Kazhagam, but all are secular.

Tiwari, my cook, pointed out that Soniaji winning was an occasion for celebration. We had special halwa made out of Bitter gourd. I will have to seriously consider the offer from the UN.


Get your truth from Sun TV now

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Thursday

What would you like to call today? Result day, Judgment Day, Day of change, Day of the Electorate…for most it is going to be a Thursday.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Jai Hanuman!

Venkaiah Naidu declares himself Hanuman. Hunt for Lakshman discontinued.


I was sounded out unofficially for the post of United Nations secretary general. In the new role, Soniaji will be replaced by Condi. I have no idea what I am doing nor does Kofi. Let us see how the Supreme Court and Soniaji rule the country for a few months and then I shall make up my mind.

Kya bolti tu?

Supreme Court does my job!

Successful! Supreme Court takes one more decision which I should have taken.

As per the Economic Times “In a major blow to the Narmada Bachao Andolan activists and rent-a-cause civil society persons” the Supreme Court has continued construction on the Narmada Dam.

The brand ‘Medha Patkar” a white haired, suave, aggressive, selfless activist with attractive Roy next to her is too strong for the media to resist. Arundhati Roy is a cousin of Prannoy Roy who runs NDTV. Who else but cousins get a positive coverage even after daring to protest against the Supreme Court?

I am angry at the power shortage in North. I see that all Communist, Medahist and samajwadis will never ever let the power supply reach the beautiful malls that the middle class want to visit.

This post is very serious. It has more English errors than the other ones.

Folks want me to act on this list! Me? Act? Decide? Can we try the Supreme Court first?


January 25/26, 1997: 25 at Wandhama-Ganderbal
March 20, 1997: 7 at Sangrampura
April 18, 1998: 27 at Prankote
June 19, 1998: 25 at Chapnari
July 28, 1998: 16 in two villages of Doda district
August 8, 1998: 35 at Kalaban
February 20, 1999: 4 at Muraputta, 9 at Barlyara and 7 at Bllala
June 30, 1999: 15 in Anantnag district
July 19, 1999: 15 at Layata
February 28, 2000: 5 near Qazigund
March 20, 2000: 35 at Chatisinghpora
August 1, 2000: 31 Amarnath Yatris at Pahalgam
August 1-2, 2000: 27 in Qazigund and Achabal
August 2, 2000: 11 in Doda district
February 3, 2001: 6 in Mahjoornagar in Srinagar
February 11, 2001: 15 in Kot-Chadwal
March 2, 2001: 15 in Manjkote
March 17, 2001: 8 near Atholi in Doda
July 21, 2001: 13 including 7 Amarnath pilgrims at Sheshnag
July 22, 2001: 12 in Cheerji and Tagood in Doda district
August 4, 2001: 15 in Ludder-Sharotid Har area in Doda district
January 7, 2002: 17 in Ramsoo
February 17, 2002: 8 in Rajouri
March 30, 2002: 12 at the Raghunath temple in Jammu
May 14, 2002: 32 at the army camp in Kaluchak, Jammu
July 13, 2002: 20 in Kasim Nagar, Jammu
August 6, 2002: 9 Amarnath pilgrims at the Nunwan base camp in Pahalgam
August 24, 2002: 10 in Rajouri
November 24, 2002: 14 at the Raghunath Temple in Jammu
March 24, 2003: 24 in Nadimarg
April 29, 2005: 13 in Udhampur district
April 30, 2005: 22 in Doda district

Incidentally, the numbers are indicating the people shot in each incident. Will Amir Khan, Rahul Bose and Diya Mirza take up this cause? They can consult Medha on this. I need some activism here.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I should travel more

Japan to import mangoes! Indian mangoes not expected to have pests and fruit fly before my visit to Japan. I should travel more.



Stealing an idea

I thought this is something that I should let the paranoid entrepreneurs of India know.

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

  - Howard Aiken
(Today’s Google Quote of the day)

Nothing!

Polling in Rae Bareli plummeted to just around 43 per cent. It could not reach the 49.5 % reserved for Soniaji.

We have to reduce the temperatures in most parts of the country to have a GDP growth of 10%

Tiwari, my cook followed the rules of the Prime Ministerial residence and switched off the air-conditioning at 12 midnight. He kept the refrigerator door open through the night as per the SPG.

Ventakesh, my valet uses this bed. I think I should transfer him to Mumbai.


Monday, May 08, 2006

Cooperatives to go bust in TN

Tamil Nadu goes polling today. This poll will determine the marketing strategies of corporation like Tanishq (TATA), Nagarjuna Construction Company, Hindustan Levers, Nestle, Zenith, HCL as well as ICICI and HDFC banks in TN.

It is colour television v/s Computers! It is gold v/s land. The peoples of Tamil Nadu will choose today.

Tamil Nadu will also choose the next chief minister through this poll, the chief of IMRB has indicated. He is monitoring this more closely than the Election commissioner.

For those of you who do not scan newspapers for bargain offers, here is the list:
  • Karunanidhi's Hangama Offer: Rice at Rs 2 per kg, two acres of land, waiver of cooperative loans, free colour television sets and health insurance programme for the rural people
  • Jaya’s Special: 10 kg of rice free of cost, four grams of gold, waiver of cooperative loans and free computers for students.
Cooperatives are expected to go bust in any scenario.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Arjun from the cabinet into the closet!

Inaugurated BITS, Pilani campus in Goa. Nice that Pilani is now in Goa. There is also Pilani in Dubai! Once upon a time, Pilani was in Rajasthan, IIMs were in India and I was in Cambridge. Things have changed since then.

Blair has a new cabinet. If we get a drubbing in the current elections, I too plan to buy a big closet….and move a few like Arjun from the cabinet into the closet.


49.5 % Ventilated

Friday, May 05, 2006

Whose line is it anyway?

I saw this amazing headline in the Scotsman: “India and Kashmir to set up talks system”. This generation of Scots will never visit India to tour Srinagar!

I told the moderate faction of the All Parties Hurriyat Conference that any solution other than redrawing line on maps is acceptable to me. Whose line is it anyway? They want leaders from POK involved in these talks. 49.5 % reservation applicable here too? I will have to check with Arjun about this.

Anyway, P Chidambaram spoke well at 39th annual meeting of board of governors of the Asian Development Bank. I also did not know India was doing so well. Good for us. Now, let me get back to hiking the price of LPG and upsetting housewives.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Al- NDTV Reports on Al Gujarat

Al- NDTV, Al- IBN CNN and Al Times Now are reporting on the atrocities committed on the Muslim Community in Al Gujarat. Al Muslims are upset with an order that has been passed that Al Shrines on Al footpaths, Al sewers and Al potholes have to be destroyed. This is not at Al fine! One Dargah got razed and Al hell broke loose. Al TV channels noticed that Al Muslims did not want this. Al started pelting stones at Al cops. Al Cops shot back. No one at Al can shoot down Al civilians who were peacefully throwing brickbats! Not the least in Al Gujarat!

I had my home secretary call Al Narendra. He is Al sacred. He has called in the army. Al Shrines will remain as they are Al over the place. SC also has stayed the demolition of Al shrines.

Al fine that ends fine.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Champion of India shining dims out!

4-year-old boy runs 40 miles...takes up cricket !


A 4-year-old boy ran 40 miles…will take up cricket at the age of 7 as per Indian customs.

Ok, I am sorry I said all those things about Lalu. He is indeed the best manager for the Railways. IIM – A is going to study the management of Indian Railways and excuses which led to the excellent balance sheets. Most of the passengers who survived their journeys will also be a part of this study.

I am meeting the moderate faction of the All Parties Hurriyat Conference. The extremist faction had a scheduled meeting with Al-Zawahiri which they could not reschedule.

All Parties Hurriyat Conference chief Mirwaiz Umer Farooq has demanded institutionalization of dialogue with us to solve the Kashmir issue. I have invited top guys from National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences, Bangalore!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Gabar? Arjun Singh!

Dharmji felicitated for introducing a new brand of English in Sholay. The movie will be part of a course teaching Std 5 students (of the CBSE board) to communicate well in English as per Rediff.com!

Gabar? Arjun Singh!

Kidding apart, I saw this movie it is fit for all kids who are growing up with Pokemon, Bayblade, Raven and Desperate housewives. This has the cabinet approval.

Of late, watching Tamil Nadu Politics is my favorite past time. It is giving Bihar an inferiority complex. I have switched to Tamil food. Tamil cuisine, one of the oldest culinary heritages of the world is characterized by its aroma and flavor, achieved by a blend and combination of spices, including curry leaves, tamarind, coriander, ginger, garlic, chili, pepper, cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, cumin, nutmeg, coconut, and even rosewater.

Do you see? Isn't it better than Bihar?


Nandan ke bina Vikram Akula list me akela

It is official. I am unimportant! Only Indians who matter are Nandan Nilekani and Vikram Akula.
Vikram Akula bilkul akela!

As per Time 100, the others who also matter are:

  • Bill & Melinda Gates – Automatically added to all list published from Forbes, Times and McAfee Virus update.

  • Oprah Winfrey – No List can have TRP without her on it.

  • Ayman al-Zawahiri – Still has better ratings than Oprah.

  • Pervez Musharraf – All lists since 9/11 end with him.

  • Ehud Olmert –Jews still remain the chosen ones even after he became the PM!

  • Angela Merkel – Germany’s Margaret Thatcher is still like a woman!

I will not cover the entire 100. Being a Economist Sardarji Prime Minister keeps me quite busy.
I am not mentioning the Doda killings nor riots in Baroda in this post. I will not mention this has nothing to do with religion. I will also not mention that there are better issues for Amir Khan to take up. I will not mention that Dargas, Hanuman temples, Ram Mandir and potholes can be bypassed with Rs 7 Cr flyovers over them.

Amazon.com has begun using MSN technology to power its A9 search. 49.7 % results in India will show books from OBC/SC/ST promised Arjun.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Mumbai in UP!

Killing of Suryanarayan is sad! I skipped breakfast today. I grieve with Suryanarayan's family. I do not feel very wise when an Indian dies. I shall not wisecrack today. Not even if Supreme Court takes any decision on my behalf.

While I am sad, Tiwari is free. He is my cook and I skipped breakfast this morning. He reminded me that today is 1st May. On May 1st, 1960, Maharashtra came into existence when Bombay State was split into the new linguistic states of Maharashtra and Gujarat. There was a dispute in those days about Bombay. Should it be a part of Gujarat or Maharashtra? Over the years this dispute has been settled itself. It is more or less a part of UP now.

Today is also International Workers' Day (May Day). I as a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister will let the Communist do the bloging on this.

The Cabinet has still not come to a conclusion which doctor should treat Arjun Singh.

Sigmund Freud, top contender for treating Arjun