Friday, June 30, 2006

184 years old!

A-aha! I finally got it. Kumar Ketkar’s piece in the Indian Express said it in a single line! Our banking system in the rural areas resembles moneylenders! Amazingly all bank managers in rural areas start their name with “pathan”. There is Pathan Shankar Patil of SBI, Pathan Ramnath Kelkar of National Bank for Agriculture and Pathan…

There was a communication failure between the aircraft flying me and the ATC at Palam. There was also a communication failure between me and Pawar. We also have a communication hic-up with CPI(M) who are on the wrong aircraft headed nowhere.

Mumbai's pioneering Gujarati newspaper completes 184 years, Tiwari found this item in the Gulf News. Times of India thinks it is the only newspaper that can complete anything in India and has not reported this yet.

Pinki Dalal, Young editor of Asia's oldest newspaper. Also the only editor in the world with Pink in her name!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Getting beta-r and beta-r

Pawar is joining me during my two-day visit to Vidarbha. He is not as good company as Montek but on his home terrain he is the best. If we cannot come to any conclusion on the relief package for farmers, we can always discuss cricket.

It is an amazing socio-economic pressure that drives a farmer to kill himself. These are two sad days in my life! I will live with the sadness and blog furiously about issues not connected with Vidarbha.

Google! CNet reviewed 10 top Google applications! They fall into three categories beta, labs or bought out. Things at Google Inc are getting beta-r and beta-r. As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister I use Google daily and of late find more relevant results in the Google adverts than the search. It is getting beta-r and beta-r!

Beta-r Dekho, Beta-r dhundo!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Mandal Singh is 75 !

V.P. Singh turned 75. He released a book to mark this day. During his term as Prime Minister he had released daku Mandal Singh.

Arjun Singh met me today. He wants to immortalize himself as the champion of backward classes. PMK leader S Ramadoss also wants to do this so does Social Welfare Minister Meira Kumar. Paswan thinks he is already immortal as a backward class human but will die as an ordinary politician. I have told Arjun to get off my back.

The 50-member House International Relations Committee approved landmark Indo-US nuclear deal 37 to 5. I have spoken to Chotta Rajan about these five.

Other then the Indo-US nuclear deal, the American are busy choosing whether they should allow their citizen to desecrate their National flag or they should leave this to people in Iran, Iraq and Pakistan. Senators have to make a choice: protect the flag, which is a symbol of freedom, or protect the constitution, which is the literal source of American freedoms!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Ghar ka Ghee

I am really proud of Lakshmi Mittal.

My Sardarji chest swells with pride when I hear him speak with his Indian accent.

Quite a few of our Punjabi and Gujarati desis fly over United States of America or UK to reach their petrol pumps or motels. During this flight they acquire American tonsils. First thing they tell their aging uncles who have sponsored their immigration is “Hey Dude”

Tiwari still thinks that Luxembourg is a name of a German car! As you know he thought Volcker was also a name of car till we sacked Natwar.

After the successful bid on Arcelor, my attention is back on bids from Sri Lanka to export vanaspati to India. My wife told me that the Prime Ministers office need not import vanaspati as she can manage this commodity. Ghar ka Ghee I believe!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Cheese-peas-potato-tomato paratha

Tiwari gave me 40 things I should know about Superman, after we watched Krish together. Krish, well, Tiwari will review it later for you after he makes my cheese-peas-potato-tomato paratha breakfast. I know, we usually do not mince tomato into the filling for a Paratha, but tomato is a-political issues and I shall have it.

As the week begins, I am planning to work hard, keep all my promises, write my to-do’s at the start of the day, respect my minister’s opinion, exercise, take my family to watch Superman, save money and run this country. Exercising will be the toughest of the lot.

Have a great week.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Underground and over the top

Gowda and his two sons, chief minister H D Kumaraswamy and PWD minister H D Revanna are upset with the Bangalore Metro project. Gowda says that this business of taking people underground is not good for children of the soil, like him. Ritesh Deshmukh’s father is also upset after my remarks and says that Mumbai has enough of this underground business.

Underground Dawood’s wife attended the IIFA awards on firm ground. Six over the top actors met the wife of the Don. Nobody was shot…by a hidden camera! Rajat Sharma…what are you doing?
From the Deccan Herald. The Struggle for the chair above the ground

Saturday, June 24, 2006

I am only a Sardarji today

I am in Bangalore. Here I told them that “Having Good road manners and adherence to road discipline are equally important”…as making software for landing aircrafts.

I heard that MG road in Bangalore really rocks on Saturday night. We will build a flyover over it so that conservative Kanadigas can avoid it...they can fly-over to that shady joint which serves booze only in “quarters”

It is Saturday and I am not feeling like the Sardarji Economist Prime Minister. I am only a Sardarji today.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Right into your eyes

I can look right into your eyes and tell you the country is on the right track and UPA is doing a good job!

Charlie Wilson's War

As the US senate committee and the congressmen debate the India-US nuclear deal, I am reminded of George Crile’s book, Charlie Wilson’s War.

Crile describes the book as “how this big, tall, handsome, whiskey-swilling man (Charlie Wilson) surrounded by a bunch of bimbos and who had his own belly dancer traveling with him was responsible for the biggest jihad in modern history. And how he conspired with a rogue CIA operative to launch this incredibly successful operation against an evil empire called the Soviet Union” The movie rights of this book have been bought by Tom Hanks

I am meeting President Bush in July. I will love to discuss this book with him.

Even if you are not the Prime Minister you must read it.

Ok, I know it is not the latest book at Crosswords, but I too have human rights, political rights and other rights that allow me to recommend a book anytime I feel like, however old it is! BJP still recommends the Ramayana.

Friend of General Zia and Afghans...Uncle Charlie

Seven “Muslims” have been arrested in a plot to attack buildings in Miami. I am worried. Someday, an Indian will get involved in a haywire scheme with another nut from Pakistan and tarnish the reputation of our nation. This is just one of the worries of a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister. I am also worried about Mumbai being a rude city!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Ritesh Deshmukh’s father and the Urban Land Ceiling Act

I am going to take a personal interest in the development of Mumbai. Yesterday, I invited the policewomen of Mumbai to have a closer look at the Metro project and identify the potential nooks, corners and police cabins where their colleagues may attempt to rape a minor.

Jaipal and I were in a nasty mood. I went at great length to admonished Ritesh Deshmukh’s father about curtailing the land Mafia, municipal corruption, repealing the Urban Land Ceiling Act and rent control. I felt very pleased after this. It makes me feel very neutral to reprove a Congress CM.

Rude Mumbaikars will of course not thank me for all this!

I also wondered if we could drive this metro using a steam engine. I call using a steam engine in a metro “power sector reforms”

Back in Delhi I do not feel like the Prime Minister. I am more of a Sardarji Economist Prime Minster outside the capital then in the capital. Well, a non *capitalistic* Prime Minister.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Amir and the immolator

Ok. I am in Mumbai today. Mumbai has the dubious distinction of being the world’s rudest city, as per the survey conducted by Reader’s digest.

I like Mumbai. Mumbai comprises of Maharashtra, Gujarat, UP, Bihar and Madras. Madras, which is not connected with Chennai in anyway, comprises of Tamil Nadu, Kerala and Karnataka. Each state offers its unique rudeness’ in Mumbai.

The Man who immolated himself to protest against Fanna, died. Will Amir say that he died because he was a fanatic Hindu Militant? Or he was upset that Amir protested against him having water? I as the Prime Minister know that I should not ask these difficult questions.

Opera 9 has been released. Opera is a company making web browser in Oslo, Norway that competes with IE and Firefox! It has a development center in India with a few good job openings. I like job openings, but I really hope that during my tenure as a Prime Minister our software industry comes up with one product that stands out globally.

And Narayana, I will fix all roads in Bangalore, have Deve Gauda apologize to you and even finish the flyover near the airport, just make one good global software product for consumers like me, a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Arranged and Alive!

Tiwari gave me this with my breakfast. Chinese women commit suicide as they cannot manage their arranged marriages. Kudos for the Indian Women! Arranged and Alive!

I also found that the Chinese women commit suicide due to easy availability of pesticide! Does this say something about Indian pesticides or Indian women?

Politician, Professional Bureaucrat and Writer

Rahul just turned 36. Most of us think that he will become the Prime Minister. For lesser mortals not born into the Gandhi clan I dug out the top jobs. Top Jobs 2006 List from
  • Lawyer
  • Personal financial advisor
  • Sales manager
  • Management analyst
  • Computer and information systems manager
  • Financial manager for
  • Securities, commodities, and financial services sales agent
  • Marketing manager
  • Computer software engineer
  • Chiropractor
  • Postsecondary education administrator
  • Medical scientist
  • Market research analyst
  • Dentist
  • Medical and health services manager
  • Producers and directors
  • Financial analyst
  • Wholesale and manufacturing sales representative
  • Engineering manager
  • Advertising and promotions manager
  • Compensation and benefits manager
  • Clinical, counseling, and school psychologist
  • Real estate sales agent
  • Training and development manager
  • Public relations manager
What is missing? Politician, Professional Bureaucrat and writer!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Indian on Time again

Venkat just dropped this on my desk. If you feel that we are successful only if the Americans say that we are successful, you may want to read this.

According to the world the US knows, Software and BPO has a South Indian accent and dress code.

Meeting Kofi’s secretary

Shushma Swaraj has taken a strong exception to remarks by the Army Vice-Chief, Lt Gen K Pattabhiraman that the force could "do without women". We will soon see this gentleman as the head of home guards.

So far the Monday morning has not posed any threat to my sense of humor and I hope the week goes well for Soniaji and Rahul…so that my sense of humor stays that way.

Today, I am likely to meet author-diplomat Shashi Tharoor. Half of the women in Delhi want to meet him. Most of them think he is Kofi’s secretary. Most of them are likely to start reading his books now.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

2021 Mumbai Metro Odysseys

I am going to Mumbai to lay the foundation stone of the metro rail. The first phase of the metro rail would be fully functional by 2011, second phase by 2016 and third phase by 2021.

Quite a few of the Mumbaikars who have lived in these traffic snarls would be 60 years old by then. They can travel in the metro rail as senior citizens and get a discount. I am so glad that Congress could be of help to the Mumbaikars.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Old youth need not work at all

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad repeated that the Nazi Holocaust was unproven, saying it should be independently investigated. Good idea. We should get Steven Spielberg to do this. I did a smart thing by not going to Shanghai.

I am a bit worried about the poor in India. Mulayam gave a few thousand poor unemployed youth in UP. Rs 1000/- This is as per the Unemployment Allowance Scheme launched in UP. What will these kids do with Rs 1000/- with the price of cigarettes at this level?

Mr. Mulayam Singh Yadav announced that the unemployment allowance given to educated youths would be doubled if he again formed the government in the State. 10 elections and the old youth need not work at all.

Arjun, Sahara, Amitabh Bachchan and the unemployed. Do you need anything more to win the election?

Friday, June 16, 2006

Thai government and Mandal commission

I am going to visit rural areas around Nagpur. The objective is to find out if liberalization is adversely hitting the poor. This will also please the left parties. It will also make right political noises. It will also make me the Pro-poor Sardarji Economist Prime Minister. It will also be a welcome break from Delhi.

Now since you all know that Shashi Tharoor is handsome, intelligent, soft spoken, humane, author, career diplomat, a double post graduate with a doctorate don’t you think he should get my job?

Thai government is surprised that we are backing this handsome author for the job of UN Secretary General. They wanted to know if the Mandal commission permitted such backing.

Software industry is shattered as Bill Gates has decided to give up his day-to-day role at Microsoft. Who will they find to hate now?

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Inspired to be Atal!

I have been inspired by the MP Government to become Atalji this morning.

Twinkle Twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are?
Up above the world so high
How did you get into MP government's sight?

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Why did he go there and why did he fall?
Being an vegetarian at age 5
With a picture of an egg in my eyes
I just wondered why
With a little patience and time
Some Fevicol could not put together Humpty Dumpty allright!

Baa Baa Black sheep
Have you any fools?
Yes Sir Yes Sir, 3 for you.
One is a religious zealot,
One is a communist,
And one is the Politician who practices vote bank politics.

I am not attending the summit meeting of Shanghai Cooperation Organization. We have an observer status in the organization, so I will observe on television. Honestly, I cannot face Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad after ditching him at IAEA. I am sending Murli Deora instead. Let him listen to the Murli!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Meet Monica Bellucci

Italian actress Monica Bellucci will play Soniaji in Sunanda Murli Manohar's movie on Soniaji called Sonia. Johnny Lever will play rest of the characters. Ms. Bellucci has acted in "Dracula", "The Passion of the Christ" and three "Matrix" films.I must agree with this choice.

I spoke to the tax authorities to find out if they are harassing Mr. Amitabh Bachchan. They said yes we are, he has not paid his taxes. Such candor unnerves me. I asked then to send a few notices to Soniaji to maintain the balance. Maybe one to Satrughan Sinha too! I have not heard his voice booming out bhojpuri English since long.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The dumb and the foolish

The Majority in this country is illiterate and we have to have policies which please them. Any policy which does not please the illiterate is elitist. Most of our vote banks are the dumb and the foolish parts of SC, ST, OBC, Christians, Muslims, and Hindus.

Venkat gave me my news clippings this morning in a new folder which had some stains of sambar on it. Tiwari is planning to try a new Maggie Flavor “Sambar Maggie” on the Prime Minister. Sardars are trying new flavors lately. Heard of Mika? I, as a Prime Minister care more about women than Sardars who let their hair down.

I have sycophants who tell me I am as brilliant as Soniaji. I sometimes like it, being treated like a real Italian lady.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Cambridge for Sardarjis

Good. It’s final. We are going to have an exclusive university with 50% of the seats reserved for NRI and PIO. Out of the balance, 49.5% is reserved for ST, SC and OBC. All Tamil Brahmins in India are now expected to study in MIT and Harvard. Arjun Singh claims that pushing Brahmins and Sardars towards MIT is discriminatory action against OBC. Sardars and Brahmins should pay higher tax for this.

I still prefer Cambridge for Sardarjis.

Incidentally, on 12 June 1975 Justice Sinha at Allahabad High Court found Indira Gandhi guilty of corruption. Soniaji visited the church today.

Bus! PC Bus!

I know two Harvard educated politicians, P C Chidambaram and Subramanian Swamy. One was a close friend of mine till he changed “Saral”. Now my family insists that I file their tax returns since I am a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister who was once a Finance Minister.

PC has been doing great things for the nation. Pointing out to the public that the reservation policy in Tamil Nadu is a great success, creating Fringe Benefit Tax (FBT), destroying Saralta in Saral and more or less keping the reform process in line with the expectations of CPI (M). He is sounding more and more like a confused Swamy when I see him on TV.

People should study in Cambridge, they make better politicians there. Like me eh?

Saral, Sar(al) Dard!

Finally, a right wing Hindu view of the movie Fanna for your consumption! Enjoy the review.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Mere pas Naukri Hai!

While I was not blogging during the last couple of weeks I opened a public email account, Within a week I had evidence of the burgeoning growth rate of the Indian economy as I received more then 10 interview calls each day!

“Dear Mr. Pradhan Mantri, We have just the right job for you! You can earn millions by being our insurance sales specialist!”

Anyways, looking at the available job opportunities I have decided to stick with the price increase in petrol and diesel. Soniaji may have an opinion, I too have one! I also have!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Rahul! Rahul!

Soniaji is considering registering “Rahul” as a trademark. Indiscriminate use of “Rahul” by BJP leaders to name their sons has eroded the brand value of “Rahul”. I agree with her. How will the electorate in UP differentiate between Rahul and Rahul?

Incidentally, Venkat informed me of another Rahul Mahajan. Rahul describes himself as an Author and Antiwar Activist. So we have an Activist Rahul, Cocaine Rahul and Gandhi Rahul. We also have, Who Rahul? He is the one whom R K Laxman sketches daily.

As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister I am not interested in football. But as a Sardarji, I wish one of the members of Islamic Oil exporting country wins the cup. They need another religion.

So folks, I am back! Thank you for coming back and reading this.

KHATHRAN Abdulaziz of Saudi Arabia is yet to score a goal

Sunday, June 04, 2006