Thursday, December 21, 2006

27 Dec 2006

Will keep running the nation. May not blog for a few days. Should be back on line by 27 Dec 2006.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Femina BCCI World Cup

Today I handed over the key of Gobindgarh Fort to Chief Minister Amrinder Singh. There is a phasi ghar in this fort where the British hanged brave Punjabis. All who want to visit this fort will have to take the key from Arminder. It is kind of difficult to meet Amrinder. We should have handed the keys to the chowkidar.

I have received a list of demands from Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee (SGPC). I checked out the list. Legalizing methods of illegal immigration was not on the list. Legalizing gender check was also not on the list. Phew…a relief. They just want the reformed (a.k.a. falsely implicated) terrorist absconding abroad to be allowed to visit India. I told them it is fine if the flights are not via Lahore.

I am enjoying myself in Punjab. A good opportunity to speak in Punjabi! In Delhi we speak either English or Italian.

Cricket is taking the direction of Femina Miss India pageant. Anil Kumble is now going to act in a movie with Mandira Bedi. Before the world cup beauty pageant BCCI will name itself Femina BCCI.

"Spin and Bedi have been associated since long"

By the way, American Chronicle has picked up the piece on the importance of Deputy Prime Minister in India by Tanveer Jafri that had hit the Seoul Times with a storm yesterday.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Deputy Prime Minister In Indian Constitution

I am in Punjab. With a sex ratio of 874 females to 1000 males, Punjab has the potential of being the gay capital of the world. Amsterdam watch out! But it is my homeland, and let me tell you whatever kudis are left here are changi!

When I am in Punjab, Captain Amarinder Singh provides me with The Seoul Times. He says he reads The Seoul Times for its objective coverage of India. Today, The Seoul Times did a story which was very relevant to the world, India as a country and me as a Prime Minister. The paper has reported "Despite the fact that there is no special place for the office of deputy prime minister in Indian constitution, by now seven persons have enjoyed this office"

Honestly...if someone has anything to say about India...please send it to The Seoul Times. Their India desk chief is hibernating.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Majoritarian Capitalistic bunch of rich Gujjus

India seems to be changing too rapidly for an eighteenth December two thousand and six.
  1. Lalu and Rabri have been acquitted.
  2. Manu Sharma has been convicted
  3. Indian cricket team has won a test match on foreign land
  4. Bush is going to sign a document bending US laws to transfer nuclear technology to India.
  5. We have just passed the OBC reservation bill.
We will soon pass the minority reservation bill. This will be followed by the minority women's reservation, followed by women's reservation, followed by not so male reservation.

We have Prime Minister from the minority community (Soniaji is a Christian). We have a President from the minority community. Women are addressed as men in the congress, our Ministers called Indiraji "Sir" for most of her life. We are one family, the Nehru family.

Well from eighteenth December two thousand and six the only place where there is communal discord and majority is voting in a democratic government is Gujarat. We should move this state to USA! Majoritarian Capitalistic bunch of rich Gujjus! Narendrabhai, what are you doing to my nation? Making it USA?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Smoke on the water

There are three bits of information that excited me as an Economist Sardarji Prime minister this Sunday.

First is the bit of news that Mumbai Police had sized Rs 3 million of fake currency. The people arrested were Dawood Abdul Rahim Khan of Dharavi, Anandraj Ramkrishna Mupannaar of Sivakasi in Tamil Nadu and Jaiprakash Oshi of Kerala. This goes to show that India is secular under congress rule.

Second, the caste dispute at Jagannath temple at Keradagarh village has been resolved. Dalits have been kept out of the temple for long. Dalits and Brahmins can now pray from a distance. Only priest can get up and close to the deity. This goes to show that all Dalits from Keradagarh village should be admitted to the medical colleges and all should become doctors.

The third piece of news is that 'Deep Purple' is to rock Bangalore. Deep Purple, unlike IBM’s Deep Blue, is not a computer. They are going to play a rock song called “Smoke on the water”. I thought as a Prime Minister, I should know what the software capital of the nation is listening to. And maybe you too should know. So here are the lyrics that are expected to swoon Bangalore.

We all came out to Montreux
On the Lake Geneva shoreline
To make records with a mobile
We didn't have much time
Frank Zappa and the Mothers
Were at the best place around
But some stupid with a flare gun
Burned the place to the ground
Smoke on the water, a fire in the sky
Smoke on the water
They burned down the gambling house
It died with an awful sound
Funky Claude was running in and out
Pulling kids out of ground
When it all was over
We had to find another place
Swiss time was running on
It seemed that we would lose the race
Smoke on the water, a fire in the sky
Smoke on the water
Smoke on the water, a fire in the sky
Smoke on the water

Thank you for a patient reading. Now you can see the picture!

Communal Socialist

Some guy on Blogger News Network called Yossarin has mentioned that it took me 16 years to change from a reluctant politician to a Communal Socialist.

Historically, I was circumstantially compelled to liberalize in 1993. The country was broke. IMF was our Finance Minister and I was their coolie. But in the end who cares if it went well and I got all the credit. Then BJP did the dirty work of tough liberalization by having a disinvestment ministry. I loved Arun in Action. After they tested the atomic bomb, sold off non performing PSUs, put the telecoms industry on the growth path and let the media flourish, I came in! I got busy with my reservation policy, anti-privatization and minority appeasement. I use CPI (M) as my excuse for all policies which stem out of me being a Communal Socialist at heart.

This is what BJP wants me to confess...are they crazy?

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Sr Dubya

I met the source of genes which leads to Dubya being like Dubya. Bush Sr wanted to know if Jr was behaving. I told him that recently Jr told me that all "US imports are from other countries" and "Obviously, nukyular power is a, uhh, renewable source of energy, and the less demand there is for non-renewable sources of energy, like fossil fuels, the better it off it is for the American people." So we get it!

Nukyular power

I am back home.

Friday, December 15, 2006

No Reservation in Japan!

The food in Japan is doing wonders for me. I have started thinking again. Maybe I should sack Tiwari who has been feeding me Pau Bhaji for too long.

The first, I want to offer the nation 4 new models. The advertising agencies can use these chicks for hair shampoo, energy drinks, MRF tires and much more...

First, offering any advertisement opportunity to these national heroines will put the fear of god and money in the assholes that are playing in South Africa. More fear then Vengsarkar visiting them. Second, these are definite winners unlike our assholes in South Africa who have so much of potential left in them that it is finding it’s way out of their intestines.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Lack of ideas

It is purely due to the lack of original ideas and zero creative inspiration is slowing me down. I feel like the Indian cricket team. What has the BJP got against Muslims?

"Pakistan never claimed Kashmir to be integral part of Pakistan. What we said is Kashmiris should be able to decide their future. We hope they would opt for Pakistan. This is what they have been saying," said Tasleem Aslam. Good. You are talking about your half of Kashmir. Ours is within the Indian borders.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Muslims must have the first claim on resources

God! Did I really say it the way they make it sound? Or did I mean it the way they make it sound. Or did I say it and really mean it.

2020 - there will be no Brahmins left in India. They will be working for the development of USA and rest of the "reserved" community will be building India. If this is what is required to move India ahead, let the US get the pundits!

I am off to Japan this Wednesday.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

India appears on the global map

India can now been seen at night says the US congress. Check out the power centers of the world in the picture of the world at night. It is not difficult to know where the action is.

The rich and the power...full!

Friday, December 08, 2006

The Final Question of globalization

I finally asked the tough question to myself and the world at London School of Economics’ Asia Forum.

"If every consumer in India and in China, totaling up to almost 3 billion, want to live like people in San Francisco, Stockholm or Singapore, can they afford to? If not, how do we alter lifestyles and consumption patterns so that the growth process is sustainable in a more globalised world”

We have to invent a lifestyle. Are we ready?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

7 Dec 2006

Number of things are keeping me tied up. We have murder, bad cricket and Dhoom. I will return soon. Likely 7 Dec 2006.