Friday, January 26, 2007

Republic Day

Sonia Madam was in Gujarat last week. Just like I never fail to address her as an Italian, she never misses an opportunity to associate me with the communal violence. She even indirectly blamed the 5 crore Gujaratis' leaders to have Nathuram Godse in their hearts in the land of Gandhi.

Today is the 57th Republic Day. I wish 5 crore Gujaratis and the remaining 96 crore Indians, more than half of whom do neither know the difference between Independence Day and Republic Day, nor the importance, a very happy Republic Day.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

4,500,000,000,000

I had been busy flying Kites. The International Glolbal Investors Summit came to an end. Gujarat is richer by almost Rs. 4.5 lakh crore. While I was busy flying Kites, the Sardarji Economist Prime Minister was calling me Right Wing Hindu Nationalist Chief Minister. Some day I will tie him to the kite and fly him.

Kaun Banega Crorepati is coming back from 22nd January. I want to ask Shahrukh Khan, forndly called SRK, on behalf of 5 crore Gujjus, how many zero does 4.5 lakh crore have?


4,500,000,000,000

Monday, January 15, 2007

Samajwadi Shadi

Right Wing Hindu Nationalist Chief Minister has been busy flying kites. The blog-o-space is missing him.

Would I be considered an supporter of Samajwadi Party if I send a congratulatory message to the Bachchans? Former Miss World Aishwarya Rai will now be Samajwadi Aishwarya Bachchan. The samajwadi wedding will be before the party looses elections in UP.

Samajwadi Nritya


Sunday, January 14, 2007

Adult Entertainment Expo

I am in Cebu, Philippines to attend the fifth India-ASEAN Summit and the second East Asia Summit.I do not have many software chaps and politicians with me this time around. The software guys are at the Consumer Electronics Show, Las Vegas attending the neighboring Adult Entertainment Expo and the politicians are busy flying kites.

Pranab is in Pakistan. Musharraf rejected our invitation to visit India during SARC. It is my turn to visit, he says. So nice and desi!


Hum SAARC SARRC hai!



Saturday, January 13, 2007

Guru Dhirubhai!

Like hell! We have a Right Wing Hindu Nationalist Chief Minister blogging on the blog of a Secular Conservative Sradraji Economist Prime Minister! I will have to blog more often to maintain the balance.

The Right Wing Hindu Nationalist Chief Minister and I do not agree on most of the issues, values and policies. But this is what a democracy is about! Conflict and Chaos! I welcome the CM of Gujarat on the blog.

This reminds me, that as a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister I should point out that Guru is a patriotic movie about the freedom struggle of an Indian businessman. Freedom struggle against the license Raj. A must watch! Fortunately it is also well made and has a good cast. Indian businesses will be encouraged to break the law for the good of the nation by this movie.


Let us not kid about Guru! He is Guru!


Had a good meeting with the RBI Governor Dr C Rangarajan. The outlook for the FOREX reserve looks good. I will have more ministers/CM/babus going abroad on a junket. The Right Wing Hindu Nationalist Chief Minister cannot go out. He cannot get a visa. Sometimes I wonder what will happen if The Right Wing Hindu Nationalist Chief Minister ever becomes a Minister at the center and has to visit USA!


Friday, January 12, 2007

Festivals and Me!

The International Kite Festival kicks off in Ahmedabad at the Sabarmati River Front. For a change, the Sabarmati River has water in it. I have always been criticized for bringing the festivals of Gujarat in the limelight. I do not understand why!

If Spain can spend so much on a Tomato Fight, which is nothing but wastage of food, why can't we spread the awareness about the longest dance festival in the World - Navratri and the Kite flying festival?

I have to go now and get back to the Global Investors Summit.

Jai Hind.

Jai Gujarat.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Con Hai Yeh?

Some Bharat Patel has been conning people posing as my PA. This is outrageous. He has managed to gather more than Rs. 1 crore since 2002. I am sure this is a plot to defame me.

I was relieved to know that he got the idea when some doctor told him that he looked like my original PA and not from this Sardarji Economist Prime Minister's blog. I want to warn the 5 crore people of Gujarat and 96 crore people of the rest of India not to fall into such traps.

Be safe this Uttarayan and don't let such dors cut your patangs.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

State No. 1

Vilasraro Dekshmukh and I keep arguing about which state is No. 1. When he said that Volkswagen and General Motors are setting up shops there, I wanted to point out the roads and traffic in Mumbai. But then, I was not there when he spoke that. And plus, I had a stronger weapon of Electricity. Remember the power cuts in 2005 which left the commuters stranded? Such a thing never happens in Gujarat.

Ask any one of the 5 crore people of Gujarat if they face such power cuts.

I am going to inaugurate Eternal Gandhi exhibition at Science city today. The Vibrant Gujarat - Global Investment Summit will also be held there on 12th and 13th January, and it will end with the colourful Kite festival at the Sabarmati Riverfront. I am not going to force anyone to invest in Gujarat. I just want everyone to "Feel Gujarat, Experience Gujarat and Try your luck". I'm busy, very busy but I will still take time out to blog on the Sardarji Economist Prime Minister's blog because Madam does not like it.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Vibrant Gujarat

Gujarat does not need oil from the Gulf I declared at the Pravasi Bharatiya Divas in New Delhi. I said we have enough oil to run buses, cars and autos in Gujarat. It was important to mention Buses and autos because though they run on CNG throughout the state and autos do cough smoke fumes because of bearing the torture of running on Kerosene. See how smart I am!

I am so smart that I even convinced the Sardarji Economist Prime Minister to let me blog here. Sonia Madam is not going to be very happy about this, but then, this is this, and that is that. On this occasion, I want to thank the 5 crore people of Gujarat.

I am now going to be very busy with Vibrant Gujarat. All are invited to the International Kite Flying Festival.

Jai Hind.

Jai Gujarat.

Amritsar breakfast, Lahore lunch and a Kabul dinner

Venkaiah Naidu said in Trichy "“Manmohan Singh is the Prime Minister, while Sonia Gandhi is acting as the super Prime Minister, CPM the controlling Prime Minister and Laloo Prasad Yadav the ultra Prime Minister” I am grateful to him for not mentioning DMK. They are the pseudo Prime Minister of the nation. Also, he forgot to mention that Sharad Pawar is the shadow Prime Minister. Anyone else, who I have missed out on as being the Prime Minister? What about Bush?

Is Bush Singh also the PM?

Patna Daily reports that my wish is for "Bihar to be Like Mauritius" This must be the ultra Prime Minister that Naidu was referring to making a wish.

I am optimistic about the Indo-Pak peace process. My dream is ‘Amritsar breakfast, Lahore lunch and a Kabul dinner’. Dead or alive! If injured one can be provided intravenous feed.

My favorite Pakistani Lady, Foreign Office Spokesperson Tasnim Aslam has no idea when I am visiting Pakistan. Neither do I.


Monday, January 08, 2007

Bandh Tourism

With the 4th Bandh in 2 months, the CM of West Bengal is planning to introduce Bandh Tourism to the Pravasi Bhartiya. “Huge potential” claimed the CM.

Bandh is embedded in the culture of West Bengal. They usually face a problem to implement a bandh on something that is already bandh!

One of the things which all secessionist organization like ULFA do not tell people is what will happen when they are separate, independent and sovereign. A land locked state like Assam will be at the mercy of India, China or Bangladesh. Good choice! China ko lock kiya jaye?

It is like inviting Pervez Musharraf to provide an answer to the question: What do you think will happen in India if there is another division based on religion? I think he knows the answer and that is what he secretly desires.

The 5th Bharatiya Pravasi Divas has taken off well. The NRIees can discuss serial killers, Assam and West Bengal. Will keep them busy!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Farsan Ltd

I will be inaugurating the Pravasi Bharatiya Divas. The challenge is to involve the Indian diaspora in the process of getting US $1.5 trillion of capital investment for development without any returns. We can provide emotional and cultural returns.

A bill granting voting rights for NRIs is also expected to be discussed. This will make a 25 million vote bank available to Arjun. The bill granting rights to vote will be introduced in Parliament during the next session while reservation for NRI will be on hold till the next election. As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister, I am excited about this Vote Bank.

Six chief ministers will speak in different sessions. 1500 NRI will listen intently and will be mesmerized by the lack of difference in Congress and BJP run states.

Narendrabhai, is surreptitiously planning to hijack the conference. He is also holding a fest called Vibrant Gujarat 2007. An Indian Army lieutenant and a revenue agent from the US are attending the forthcoming Vibrant Gujarat Global Investors Summit. The MD of Farsan Ltd is also going to be present.

Suzuki and Mamta together

What stops us form playing good cricket? Talent, Politics or infrastructure? I am sure you have put the causes in this order (1) Politics (2) Infrastructure (3) Talent . Really? I really need to meet the politicians in Cape Town that caused this debacle.

Do we have the talent to make killer sports persons?

By the way, I met Ratan Tata. He has alleged that his competitors were behind the protest by Mamta Banerjee. He is got to be kidding. Suzuki and Mamta together? Wow!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Quality of Football

I inaugurated the 11th edition of the National Football League. I declared to the walls of the Ambedkar stadium "We need to raise its (Indian Football) standards to the international level". The walls echoed back.

"During my visit to Brazil I have raised the issue of their help to Indian football and hopefully we will get it soon," I told the walls. The stadium responded very well to this. We should be soon expecting Brazilian fans to be in India. Football coaches are not very essential to improve the standard.

The standard of sports in any nation is determined by the quality of fans. Please remember!

Friday, January 05, 2007

New Okhla Industrial Development Authority


I have refrained myself from mentioning anything about the butcher of New Okhla Industrial Development Authority (NOIDA). Today, I have decided to mention a single provocative thought.

India is a nation of deprived sex maniacs, mainly male. The females are killed before they are born and hence they are not deprived of anything. I have a map of sexually deprived regions in the country. If you are in lighter blue areas in the map, please carry your pepper spray.

I am not saying that this guy was going after kids because he could not find female companionship. He was sick. But his sickness came from a culture in these male dominated belts.

We have a Pravasi Bharatiya Divas coming up. NRIees from US will take the lead in telling me how we should keep the nation clean!

Shilpa's Big Brother

Shilpa Shetty enters the Celebrity Big Brother UK series. She will be sharing the house with the former Miss Great Britain who was deposed for her sexual antics with a judge. After her appearance as a judge in a television series Jhalak Dikhlaja, this will be her second appearance on television. However, we in India will not be able to see her live!

She says she will be the ambassador of Bollywood and show people that we can have fun too. Ambassador of Bollywood? Shilpa, does anyone even notice you in Bollywood?

The Indian version of this series goes by the name Bigg Boss and has made me a fan of Rakhi Sawant, the item girl. Oh, Jhejhus! (Jesus is Jhejhus for Rakhi)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Reverse Brain Drain

Amit Kapadia has founded a protest group in UK. He has a Master of Business Administration degree but may fall short of the £35,000 ($86,5000) income he requires to requalify for a visa to live in UK. A lot of desi will be kicked out of UK for not making enough money to stay back. Few of them are the not so intelligent internet programmers with a B.Com "background" and an MBA from Viramgam College of Management. But some of the chaps are good.

I told the 94th Indian Science Congress that we need to encourage the Indian diaspora to return. Useful encouragement may come from rude immigration officials, complex visa regulations in these developed countries. But, for most part we have to offer better salaries for the reverse brain drain to start. Relying on US and UK immigration law for returning the brains of our nation is not good strategy.

Dhak dhak girl makes a come back!

Mallika Sherawat.. err.. Bhairon Singh Shekhawat wants
people to take a pledge to work together to address the problems of poverty, illiteracy, diseases and
unemployment to build a strong, united and vibrant India.
I think I have heard that before.

People have liked the Sardarji Economist Prime Minister last year. While he did well with improving the relations with the US, the critical issues of price rise and poverty remained
unanswered.

Bollywood actress Madhuri Dixit is making a comeback with a Yashraj movie. Or is it the other way round? Pooja Batra also plans a comeback in 2007. Did anyone ask Pooja, who?

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Chennia, Science and Dravid


I am off to Chennai. Tomorrow, I will be inaugurating the Indian Science Congress 2007. President A P J Abdul Kalam will inaugurate the Children's Science Congress and address the gathering on January 5. Presidents are kid's stuff in India.

It is usually fun to be in Chennai. Dravid always wins here. DMK or AIDMK, one cannot miss out that it is all Dravid.

Tamilans generally feel that they are intelligent, educated, scientific and Tamilian. Sometimes they also feel they are Christians or Hindus or Muslims. But mostly, they feel Tamilian. They at times feel like tigers. We just have to acknowledge they are Tamilians and then they feel less like tigers and more like Tamilians.

Hope you folks are enjoying the second day of the new year. It is usually the tough day, as we look at the resolutions and wonder....

Monday, January 01, 2007

ISO certification for Eid ul-Adha

You guys having a good time killing all the well-fed goats on Bakri Eid ?

Have a happy new year and sacrifice your goat safely.

Muslims are expected to sacrifice the best domestic animals, usually sheep, as a symbol of Ibrahim's sacrifice during this holy period of Eid ul-Adha. Any faulty animal scarification may not be acceptable by Allah. The sacrificed animals (camels, cows, goats and sheeps) have to meet certain age and quality standards. We should get an ISO certification for this high quality slaughter.

Also, Priyanka, welcome on the blog! We are committed to saying things which we do not mean. Please maintain the high standard of nonsense we have here.

Greetings!

Hello everyone! When the Sardarji Economist Prime Minister asked me, the one who's inherited her grandma's nose, to write on his blog, I didn't even wait for mia madre's permission!

And so here I am on the first of January, straight from Goa wishing you all a wonderful year ahead.

Lets us see how many generations will be awakened and how many will follow Gandhigiri in the coming year. And nobody asked me my views on Saddam's execution, so I'll keep my mouth shut and let the Sardarji Economist Prime Minister voice his disappointment.

One of the many things that will happen this year would be that the country will turn 60. In the mean time, lets gear up for Guru and Salaam - e - Ishq.

Once again, wishing everyone a wonderful year ahead!