Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Palaniappan Chidambaram

CPIM is unhappy with Palaniappan's budget. He has not taken my advice and allocated funds to move West Bengal and Kerala into China.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Railway Budget

Interesting budget. Lalu is headed towards being a Prime Minister. Are the 1 A/c train passengers traveling on reduced fare ready for this?

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Retail study

I have ordered a study on how big chain stores will impact small businesses. Now, now....please...I know you all have the answers...but will you let the experts decide for me?

Railway budget is going to be interesting. I got a sneak preview. Railway budget is going to be like Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd. As Elvis D'Silva says, very good when you read the script but when you start making the movie and deliver it you have a very poor show.

And like always the woes of the Mumbaikars will be ignored in all budgets.

Friday, February 23, 2007

India not meeting Pakistani expectations

Lalu's counterpart in Pakistan Sheikh Rashid Ahmad has expressed concern over India’s single-handed investigation into the bombing of the Samjhota Express. He wants to know why there is no progress in arresting a couple of Hindus from Bajrang Dal. Well, we are trying. We want to be secular in our spread of terrorist arrest. Unfortunately, most traveling on the Samjota Express were Muslims. This is making it very difficult for the secular investigation agencies to question Hindus who were not traveling on that train. But we are trying, my friend Rashid, we are trying...

No hair on his ears! Lalu says you cannot have him as a Railway Minister.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Ash Ash Wedding season

I am going to attend a wedding soon. Aishwarya's wedding. This is an Ash Ash wedding season.

Devyani, who is the great grand daughter of the last Rana Prime Minister of Nepal late Mohan Shumsher Rana, has chosen as her life partner, India’s central minister Arjun Singh’s grandson Aishwarya Singh. The series of ceremonies will be held at Sindhya House in Sarojini Nagar, Delhi.

56.25% of ceremonies are in the reserved category. I will be able to attend the balance.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

UP Elections

I have invited the my strategist for a discussion on the UP elections. We have divided the electorate based on caste, religion and income. Tiwari was suggesting that we try color also, but the experts felt that most of those in UP are green.

DMK is going to support us in UP elections. Soniaji convinced Karunanidhi that DMK support was crucial in the Hindi heartland.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Culprit

Actually, the decision of selecting the perpetrator of the bomb blast is political. Should we select a Hindu or a Muslim to pin these blasts on?

I am personally of the opinion that we should select an Hindu this time as we are a secular party. What do you think?

Pakistani Media has selected Shiv Sena, Bajrang Dala and Modi.

I busy making up my mind on what we should do with Samjawadi UP...

Monday, February 19, 2007

Using Trains to derail the peace process

Anyone who says that the there is some other reason behind killing 60 innocent people other than putting the peace process in jeopardy is a fool.

To derail the peace process, the terrorist have a few expectations from us which we are likely to cater to.

1. I will blame Pakistan based terrorist groups for this.
2. I will say the Mushy is not doing enough to curb terrorism
3. Mushy will say that VHP and RSS were behind the blast as most killed were Muslims
4. BJP will take this up in the Parliament
5. I will have to issue a strong statement against Pakistan
6. All meetings related the peace process will be put on hold.

The number of people traveling between India and Pakistan will increase by 27.25% in this period.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Italian conspiracy!

Foreign hands are involved in the conspiracy to topple his government, accused Chief Minister Mulayam Singh Yadav! Why else do you think Italian Premier Romano Prodi is visiting India he wanted to know from Lodh community in Mahoba. It is not only Soniaji, even Mayawati has become Italian he announced!

Italian Primer with his foreign hands

Italy declined support for India's bid for a permanent seat on the United Nations Security Council. They say India should first take up football before worrying about global security!

I attended the closing ceremony of the 33rd National Games in Gauhati. I told the crowd that the Indian flag should fly high during the forthcoming Commonwealth Games since there is no Chinese competition. Most of the the spectators were not listening to me. They were busy reading the list of highest paid American professions distributed by ULFA to distract them form my speech. I also found the list interesting...check it out yourself. Politicians apparently do not earn much in USA!

1. Surgeons -- $177,690
2. Anesthesiologists -- $174,240
3. Obstetricians and Gynecologists -- $171,810
4. Orthodontists -- $163,410
5. Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeons -- $160,660
6. Internists, General -- $156,550
7. Psychiatrists -- $146,150
8. Prosthodontists -- $146,080
9. Family and General Practitioners -- $140,370
10. Chief Executives -- $139,810
11. Pediatricians, General -- $139,230
12. Airline Pilots, Copilots, and Flight Engineers -- $135,040
13. Dentists, General -- $133,680
14. Podiatrists -- $111,250
15. Lawyers -- $110,520
16. Air Traffic Controllers -- $105,820
17. Engineering Managers -- $105,470
18. Computer and Information Systems Managers -- $102,360
19. Marketing Managers -- $101,990
20. Astronomers -- $101,360
21. Natural Sciences Managers -- $99,140
22. Sales Managers -- $98,510
23. Petroleum Engineers -- $97,350
24. Financial Managers -- $96,620
25. Law Teachers, Postsecondary -- $95,570
26. Optometrists -- $95,500
27. General and Operations Managers -- $95,470
28. Computer and Information Scientists, Research -- $94,030
29. Judges, Magistrate Judges, and Magistrates -- $91,500
30. Physicists -- $91,480
31. Actuaries -- $90,760
32. Nuclear Engineers -- $90,690
33. Industrial-Organizational Psychologists -- $89,980
34. Human Resources Managers -- $89,950
35. Pharmacists -- $88,650
36. Securities, Commodities, and Financial Services Sales Agents -- $87,990
37. Health Diagnosing and Treating Practitioners -- $87,630
38. Computer Hardware Engineers -- $87,170
39. Public Relations Managers -- $85,820
40. Aerospace Engineers -- $85,450
41. Political Scientists -- $84,820
42. Physical Scientists -- $84,380
43. Computer Software Engineers, Systems Software -- $84,310
44. Personal Financial Advisors -- $82,970
45. Health Specialties Teachers, Postsecondary -- $82,450
46. Chiropractors -- $82,060
47. Industrial Production Managers -- $81,960
48. Construction Managers -- $81,760
49. Purchasing Managers -- $81,440
50. Advertising and Promotions Managers -- $81,250

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Bermuda

As an Economist Sardarji Prime Minister, I have noticed that we are in the same group as Bermuda for the Cricket World Cup. It has the highest per capita income in the world.

Bermuda is considered an offshore financial center and this is not a diplomatic term for COMLS (Country Offering Money Laundering services).

They also have a spin bowler who goes by the name of triangle. That is not a good one, but I am blogging after a long time.

I met Vodafone's Arun Sarin. He was born in Panchmari, Madhya Pradesh. What is it about Indians that make them grow from Panchmari to CEO of Vodafone? Amazing!! I still think he should spell the company vodaphone....we sure need some English teachers in Panchmari.

Panchmari Vodaphone.

I am back

Well, well, well....so you still there eh? I hope you are. I am back! I have no idea how this new season will turn out but I am back!

Welcome to log of the nation in Hyper Text Marked Lies!