God and open Source.

Atheist across the globe are claiming that the source of terrorism can be traced back to millions of years when GOD got created under the first ever General Public License (Open Source Code) structure.

Due to the early open source policy of creators of GOD, self appointed implementation partners may have completely modified the source code to localize the application of GOD. These may or may not include likes of Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Mahavir, Krishna etc. This was fine, as the localized code worked fine for the limited period.

Due to major modification in the original source code, the central body could no longer control things under GPL. All this resulted in more implementation partners and who kept modifying the source code for localized benefits. As time moved on the original source code was lost...

One such implementer is LADIN...a bit out of touch with the original source code...isn't he?

I am back...so is Haneef. As a Sardarji Secular Economist Prime Minister let me say that I glad that all went well.

To make a long post lengthier I have dug out a something which Burkha Dutt wrote in Khaleej Times.

"OUR schizophrenia as a people is astounding. Right now we are consumed with self-righteous indignation over how Mohammed Haneef, an Indian citizen and an initial suspect in the Glasgow bomb blast, was treated by the Australians. In his humiliation, we see a sinister attack on our national pride.

In the decision to scrap his visa, we see the premature death of our own emigration dreams. We want our government to be less effete in its intervention. We think this is about racism, not terrorism."

Barkha writes for Khaleej Times....man, she is secular!

Shiv kumar Patel

My apologies. Sunday was a little busy. Shiv kumar Patel or Dadua a dreaded dacoit from Uttar Pradesh was killed by the police on Sunday morning. I want to know if he was an SP MP, if yes from which constituency. I also would like to know which dacoit can replace him. Will this dcaoit be from Congress or will BJP take the lead. BSP also has quite a a few dacoits from the backward caste. Is this dacoit a SC/ST reserved category or from the general category.

What a Sunday! So many difficult questions for a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister.

Well...not as good as Veerappan...but he too did have a moustache

Amit Verma Likes the President

I am so glad that Amit Verma likes the new President. Here he what he had to say:

If you are an Indian, your heart should swell up with nationalistic pride today – and perhaps even explode. India elects a president as you read this, and it is likely to be Pratibha Patil. There has been much talk in the media about how she is unfit for that post, an opinion I have also expressed. But now I have seen the light. I was wrong.

Competence and intellect are optional attributes for a post that only has ceremonial value. Our president represents India to the world, and should be someone who people can take one look at and say, “Ah, so India is like that!” For various reasons, Pratibha Tai embodies much of India in her slender frame.

Consider, first, her spirituality. We are a spiritual nation, and Pratibha Tai actually converses with spirits. When she was nominated for the presidency, she revealed that she had been told by an enlightened soul that she was destined for bigger things.

“I had a pleasant experience,” she told an audience at Mt. Abu, where she had gone to meet a lady named Hridaymohini aka Dadiji, who runs a “World Spiritual University”. She had chatted with a gentleman named Dada Lekhraj, who died in 1969 but has presumably hung around since. “Dadiji ke shareer mein baba aye,” she told the audience. (“Baba came in Dadiji’s body.”) This, you will notice with pride, also has a touch of the erotic about it, which is quite appropriate in the land of Khajuraho and the Kama Sutra.

There are many advantages of having a president who can speak to spirits. She can chat with Gandhiji (Mahatma, not Sonia) over breakfast, and let us know his views on the world and Lage Raho Munnabhai. If George W Bush comes visiting, she can impress him by chatting with Saddam Hussein and asking him where those WMDs are. (“Dadiji je shareer mein Saddam aye.”) And so on. Lucky Dadiji.

Me and My Self

Nothing....just thinking...what about you?

Ramu Ki Aag

"Ram Gopal Varma ki Sholay" will now be called "Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag". Ramu is the greatest creative mind in Bollywood. God, I need to come up with some tax SOPS for creative movie titles.

Pregnancy register

Renuka Chowdhury wants a pregnancy register. She is my women and child development minister and wants to stop the abortion of female fetus. Sex-selective abortions in India reduced the number of girls per 1,000 boys from 945 in 1991 to 927 in 2001. And women are a major vote bank of the Congress.

Sleeping in Jammu

I will be in Jammu to receive a doctorate. I need to get these honorary doctorates to reinforce the belief of the India population that I am an secular intellectual Saradarji Economist Prime Minister.

I will sleep well in Jammu. Australian police have finally charged Mohammed Haneef.

Decided to change the Climate

A recent report by environmental experts said India would be among the countries worst affected by climate change. I chaired a meeting of top government officials and environmental experts who will draft a national policy on environment by October. We need to save the planet. I should have also invited the Municipal Commissioner for the meeting. We need to save some votes.

Policy to Change the climate...and save from the climate

Saradraji in the Museum

Made a surprise visit to the Indian National Army museum. This place needs to be cleaned up. I will have Tiwari call up the Minister in charge. This is all because the government employees are not empowered, underpaid and uncared for. We need to fix this. I will have Tiwari act on it. Oops, I am in charge of Ministry of Personnel, Public Grievances & Pensions. Shit who is Tiwari going to call....

Kaun...Tiwari?

11/7

Spoke with Bush. He had no idea that in "11/7" - "7" was the month. "Shit!" he said, "I had no idea that you guys were having a terror anniversary, I just called to discuss the nuke deal"

5:19 pm | 5.26 pm | 5.37 pm | 5.48 pm | 5.50 pm | 5.54 pm | 5.57 pm

Do you know Partibha? Now there is a double u double u double u know pratibha dot com....please know that she is no longer unknown.

The domain www.presidentpratibhapatil.com is still available.....

Haters of the west

Australian Prime Minister John Howard said that new software linking the computer systems of the Australian Security and Intelligence Organization and the Immigration Department will allow deeper background checks to identify people who hate the west.

This seems to be very sophisticated software. Spy data, travel data and financial data will be used to identify haters of the west who are also called potent terrorist.

Does a visit to Mecca mean you hate the west? A donation to an NGO in Sudan? I mean, there will be an If-then-Else loop in the software, right?

This is too difficult for a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister to comprehend.

Satellite image of Mecca to be used by the Australian Spy Agency to identify west haters!

Supreme Court rules!

As you know, India is ruled by Soniaji and the Supreme Court. I am just the Prime Minister.

I was impressed with the busy schedule of the supreme court justices as they returned from their recess. Some of the issues they are working are:

Petition 1 - India to be rechristened as 'Hindustan',
Petition 2 - Arabian Sea renamed 'Sindhu Sagar'
Petition 3 - 'Jana Gana Mana' be discarded as it was a "eulogy" to British monarch George V.

Thank God that I am just a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister and do not have to take such decisions of national importance.

Jana Gana Man Adhi Nayak....Geroge Hey!

Behenji wins once again

Yet again the Indians have proved their competence with Internet technology, unfailing love for cell phone voting and misplaced patriotism. Taj has been voted in as one of the seven wonders of the world.

Tiwari wanted to know if all those Indians who voted for Taj have also voted during the Lok Sabha election.

Maya behenji claimed a complete victory. It is not just the Taj that has won but the neighboring corridor too!

Too much happening

I had to return to blog! There is two much happening on the planet!

First, I have noticed that the Indian Foreign Office and Indian Idol show are being run by Pranab. It is a complete east Indian take over. The next Indian Idol will be shot in East India. My constituency is in Assam, Pranab is from Bengal and so will be the next Indian Idol.

Second, we have a few Indian doctors who have chucked extremely successful careers in Medicine to become drivers in Scotland. An admirable switch of careers! As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister, I do not see in anyway how a drivers job, even with a bomb, is more lucrative and rewarding than a doctors.

But some people make weired choices...look at what Soniaji has selected as our Presidential candidate...a woman to whom ghosts speak! She will be looking for interesting career alternative in future.

To whom Ghost talks

And me....I am sleepless in Delhi... Harry Potter is being released this month...