Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Sense of humor


It is easier to say these things after becoming a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister. One guy in the crowd wanted to know why I took up economics and not mountaineering. The other wanted know if my concept personality development included a sense of humor.

As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister, I made it clear that all these silly things like a sense of humor is for the right wing nationalist like Narendrabhai. We are all stone faced secularist with an keen eye on these right wing "Maut Ke Saudagar"

Eye on "Maut Ke Saudagar"





Monday, January 28, 2008

Wining a draw

In cricket and politics, the art and science of winning a draw is gaining importance. For example when there is a draw in election results, we form a coalition government. That is a victory. If you set a target of 300 runs in 50 overs on the last day of a test match then you win the draw.

With types of Narendrabhai, Kumble and Ponting taking center stage the good days of winning draws seem to be over.

Anyway, I am bit pissed off with the power sector reforms. There is a delay in awarding Ultra Mega Power Projects (UMPPs). UMPP developers are concerned about the timely implementation of transmission system projects by the PGCIL for evacuation of power. This seems to be a draw with no winners. But Honda says you can still be a winner....

Winning a draw....


Sunday, January 27, 2008

Sunday

I am working on Sunday. I have to send a report to Soniaji.

Soniaji has been really critical of us these days. She wants us to be regular in sending our reports. She has pointed out that Mayawait gets her reports daily while we in congress do this weekly. How can she succeed if we are so slow in our reports.



Ok, let me get back to work....

Saturday, January 26, 2008

NDTV Imagine

I am happy today. I told the French President that I am a Sardar and I wear a turban. He wanted to know if the turban indicated a religion in anyway. I said, yes. He said that I could have never become an economist if I was French. But, would it have been ok if I would let my hair flow like Abdul Kalam eh? I asked. That would have been so French. Well, in France you can have sex at school but not religion!


Anyway, we have rewarded Rajdeep Sardesai and Barkha Dutt for relentless Narendra bashing for five years in all walks of life. Though they failed to change the minds of the Gujaratis, they managed to ensure that Narendrabhai did not visit USA. They have made Soniaji proud. Sometimes they behave like the communist but most of the time they are congress persons. I too like them. Barkha Dutt gave me an award too. Same same but different eh?

They are also the most hated Padma Shri awardees in Gujarat, a rare distinction in a state which only watches TV channels which have stock tickers at the bottom.

NDTV's contribution to Gujarat polls:

About 109 news stories from NDTV on Gujarat in the last 30 days. Of these about 67 stories had to with the polls. An analysis of th 67 stories by NDTV is very revealing.

Anti-Modi (tehelka, riots and related muslim issues, development) - 27 stories includes only 2 on development (1 story on Modi’s Chiranjeevi scheme to encourage private use of maternity homes/clinics is strangely given a negative spin of decaying public health and a second one on nomadic muslim tribes being denied voter identities)

General Muslim issues (excluding riots) in Gujarat - None

Factual reporting on Congress/rebels/others campaign - 13 stories (mostly PTI releases)

Factual reporting on BJP/Modi campaign - 14 stories (mostly PTI releases)

Positive stories on Development in Gujarat with credit to Modi/BJP - None

Positive stories on Gujarat with no apparent credit - 1 story on snake charmers getting voter identities

Negative stories with no specific target of criticism or generally critical of politics - 2 stories on fishermen and rural foodgrain banks run by women being disenchanted with politicians

Poll process related - Rest

Happy Republic day.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Al Gore sends evidence

Al Gore had sent a picture as evidence of global warming to the Chinese Primer.

User Experince

What exactly is the difference between development done by a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister,a castist groups led by Maya memsahib and right wing Hindu Nationalist like Narendrabhai. This was the topic of debate with Tiwari this morning.

Development of a country is like developing a software. One has to ensure that the "user experience" across wide spectrum of constituents from Nandan Nilekani to Laloo Prasad Yadav is seamless while the core engine behind the scene chugs on irrespective of the load and difficulties.

Maya memsahib's tendency to please majority users with more features, rarely used with a poor core engine. So you have features like SP/DSP from backward class, all ministers from super backward class but these features rarely help the regular user of the system.

Narendarbhai style is to focus on extraordinary users experience and a functional core engine. But the process of development is managed like an autocrat and hurts a lot of people leading to a dissatisfied and disgruntled developers. So you may see the power supply and water from Narmada flowing across Sawrashtra. You will see a disgruntled Keshubhai. And you will see fear in the minds of the Muslims which is serious bug in the core engine.

User experience - Narendrabahi style

The development at the center is mainly driven by making all the departments like the CEO (Soniaji), CTO ( Left block), CFO (DMK) agree on something which will make a difference anywhere. At the moment all agree that the "user experience" ( reservation) is the fine and core engine can remain shitty.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I too want to know


"Millions of Indians want to know if it was a white man taking the white man's word against that of the brown man (Sachin)" asks Sunil Gavasakar. I am one of those millions.

He also adds "Typically it forgot the other umpire, Mark Benson, who wasn't exactly blameless in the game, or did they really forget? Or was it simply that a black man's errors were more highlighted than a white man's?" I want to know the answer to this one too.

I request Soniaji to ensure that the whites does not hijack the game....oops but she is also white isn't she?

Cricketism

Called up Soniaji as soon as I was airborne and out of Chinese airspace. I told her I had nothing to report on my visit to China. We made the right noises, ate the right food and spoke about issues which we agreed on. It would have been more fun to attend Maya memsaheb's birthday and feed her some cake. Soniaji reminded me that I was the Prime Minister and it not becoming of a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister to attend a birthday bash of a lalu-panju Chief Minister.

As always Soniaji know better.

Maya memsaheb accused 92.35% of the planet for discriminating. She released the following definitions as a part of her birthday gift to UP.

1. Castism: When you discriminate within the same race based on profession. For example, the wicket keeper discriminating against the short leg.

2. Racism: When you discriminate based on genetics. This is out of a belief that you can play better cricket if your forefathers were white English cricketers.

3. Cricketism: When a black umpire consistently makes errors in favor of a white team playing brown guys.

Monday, January 14, 2008

One for the Chinese

I floored the Chinese at the restricted private dinner hosted for me by Wen Jiabao

I, Musharraf, Aishwarya rai and Soniaji are traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!

The train comes out of the tunnel.

The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is RED from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Soniaji is thinking:
These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking:
Musharraf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Musharraf is thinking:
Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

I am thinking:
If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again........

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Like Ricky in Beijing

Visited the Olympic village in Beijing. It was a symbolic gesture to indicate that I am sportsman before I got into haggling about the land dispute and the frequent Chinese intrusion into Indian territory.

I learned this technique from Ricky Ponting.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

China

Well, I am back.

In 2008 Indian parents will find it easier to handle dyslexia.

Indians now know that the English media is an activist media run by communist who want to destroy the right wing nationalist parties. Narendrabhai Modi will never let them forget this.

Apple is going to make a Ipod which will be called Indica!

I am off to China!