Saturday, May 31, 2008

107

Rs 225,040 crore. This is the kind of loss Oil PSU should gear itself for. We met Soniaji. She feels that we should defer the secular decision of increasing the petrol prices till the two day national executive meeting of the BJP, which begins on Sunday is over. We cannot have the Right Wing Nationalist Parties have any fuel to start a fire.

At a loss of Rs Rs 580 crore per day, two days delay will cost the oil PSUs only Rs 1,160 Cr. What if the BJP decides to have a meeting for a week? Will it cost IOC Rs 4,060 Cr.

No..no...it is just the CEO of IOC going to work.

I heard Anotny, our beloved Defense Minister fainted during the passing out parade at NDA. No one told him it was the cadets that passed out, he could have had a proper breakfast.

By the way, The Economist has published it Global Peace Index. Iceland is no 1 and Iraq is no 142. India is no 107. Soniaji is quite satisfied with my performance in this area.

Gujju solution to inflation

Narendrabhai Modi has urged me to request the nation to observe a weekly fast. This will save food and bring the inflation under control.

Ok so here it goes...My dear Gujarati's, please fast once a week. Your leader wants you to. Mr. Modi says this is good for the country, and as you know, Modi knows what is good for the country. So please, please stay hungry for a day every week and help the nation.

Alternatively, if all Gujaratis become Jains the price rice will come to a grinding halt. "We shall not eat anything that eats, breaths or grows underneath my feet!"


I cannot make such a ridiculous request to people in other States. Congress is still hopeful of winning a few seats in these places.





Friday, May 30, 2008

60,000 Cr

The Great Indian Write off-Farmers loan Rs 60,000 Cr. Just reminding the cabinet of a key decision during the budget as we look at the Petrol price. Even if we win the next election, who wants to be the PM or the FM for that matter...

As a Secular Sardarji Economist Prime Minister, I and my FM have taken very smart political decisions.


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Getting Tribal

My gardener is quite smart. He belongs to the Scheduled Tribe which resides in Delhi. My cook is also from a scheduled tribe. He has lived in Bangalore, Chennai and Jaipur. The Indian professional, particularly from the technology sector deserves a Scheduled Tribe status. Never stayed in one location for more than 2 years. Truly tribal.

Traditionally, the Gurjars belong to the Kshatriya varna. You may recall Lord Rama, Lord Krishna, Lord Buddha and Lord Mahavira all belonged to Kshatriya varna. The Gujjars are tribal warriors. Sardar Patel was also a Gujjar.

All this means that Vasudhara has had it.

As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister, I only hope that BJP loose the elections. Gujjars can become a extremely nomadic tribe under Colonel Kirori Singh Bainsla after that. Till then they are not a tribe. No way! I mean do tribes have stationary existence on railway tracks?

Stationary but on Track

Meanwhile, you can check the Gujjars on line....http://www.gurjarsonline.com/

We discussed all this in our cabinet meeting and had the law ministry reject the demand of Gujjars becoming a tribe before the elections.


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Improved Vision

Two events lead to my improved vision today. My cataract operation and the Karnataka Election results.

My improved vision at the moment is shaded by the dark glasses I borrowed from the Arjun Singh.
  • Rahulji and Soniaji are useless in election campaigning
  • Kanadigas are now becoming like Gujaratis. They like money, prosperity and good infrastructure.
  • There is nothing like the secular vote. Secular vote now only means the Muslim vote.
  • I cannot increase the prices of Petrol even is IOC goes under.
  • BSP does not matter beyond UP
I will have keep my glasses on form some more time....then when I see light I will be Advani!

Meanwhile, Dr Ramadoss called me at the hospital. He is upset about the state of affairs in the private dental clinics. He wanted to know who is looking after Dr Talwar's patients after his arrest. I hope this man looses in the next election.

My Secular Shades. Top window is for Muslims, then for tribals, then for OBC ....but still, Congress as a whole has a clear vision.




Thursday, May 22, 2008

Haji Hassanal Bolkiah

Haji Hassanal Bolkiah is in Delhi. No, no, he is not connected with the Jaipur blasts. He is the Sultan of Brunei and a very liberal young chap. He also wears Army fatigues sometimes on his throne. I kind of like this young chap.
The shades of crude oil on the Army fatigues

I am going to visit Pakistan this year. As usual, the Pakistani media knew this before I did.


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Aur ek Sardar

I am really stressed out. But, I do not want to discuss about Karntaka or terrorism. When we, members of family managed secular party get upset we just scan our family albums...

Saradraji's have always been a part of Soniaji's life!

Monday, May 19, 2008

RIOT

What exactly is the difference between CBI and an FBI type of investigation agency I am proposing? These bureaucrats make me say things without doing proper research. I meant to set up a one man commission for nationwide, fast and reliable destruction of terrorism.

RIOT -Rajnikant Inquiry on Terrorism

Another reason for increased terrorism is that in many states we do not have in place the sanctioned strength of police. This is affecting the security scenario
. Can you imagine a corrupt police officers earn less then a call center employee? This is crazy! We just have to make the corruption more attractive.

As a congressman and a Secular Sardaji Economist Prime Minister, let me stress that religion has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with terrorism. Kasam Se!



Saturday, May 17, 2008

Imagining Cannes in Bhutan

I was just wondering in Bhutan how it would look on NDTV if I, Aishwariya and Abhishek walked the red carpet at Cannes. Amar Singhji of course will be on all carpets that the Bachans walk. So it will be four of us. It will be on NDTV Imagine...just imagine.

One never knows, this could happen. Shahid Siddiqui of the Samajwadi party said on NDTV that he has no problems in tying up with the Congress.

Has anyone heard of Amar Singh's family? I as a Saradrji Economist Prime Minister have no idea about it though I have had his phone tapped a couple of times.

As per Wikipedia his wife's name is Shrimati Pankaja Kumari Singh and he has two daughters. Kah hai?

Please identify Shrimati Pankaja Kumari Singh in this very important family picture.




Thursday, May 15, 2008

Bhutan

Well, Bhutan is nice. It is the only country where selling of tobacco is banned. There would have be no use of Ramadoss in this place. They have no tobacco and no film industry.

Hey, look no Soniaji. I will read Advaniji's biography here.








Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Intelligence Faliure

There is a total intelligence failure on the part of Harkat-ul-Jehad-al-Islami (HuJI). It is a no-brainier that you cannot start a communal riot in India by bombing Temples or Mosques. Still this persistence is amazing. A terrible lack of intelligence on the part of the terrorists. IQ seems to be below 40.

Also, the Indian Intelligence Agencies have a similar type of IQ problem. They do not know how to deal with this simple situation. How to stop anyone from bombing any of the 10 holy sites in each of the 550,000 villages and 2000 towns and cities in India. IQ of 240 and above is inadequate.

Koi kuch bato ji...mai Secular Saradraji Economist Prime Minister kuch kho gaya hu.

Potential Target? Visitors around 3000 during any irrelevant festival.

Jaipur

Hum blogega to bologey ki bolta hai...this too shall pass...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Meet Barr..

Former Republican Rep. Bob Barr launched a Libertarian Party presidential bid saying that the American voters are hungry for an alternative. For those who thought Americans only had Democrats and Republicans let me introduce the Libertarian Party. It is one of the largest continuing Third parties in the United States, claiming more than 200,000 registered voters and more than 600 people in public office.

Why I am mentioning this here? Today, my gardener wanted to know if Hillary Clinton was Bill Clinton's daughter. I thought it was time I started blogging about the US elections....




Monday, May 12, 2008

Jamia Hamdard University

Jamia Hamdard University has the following departments:
  • Dept. of Islamic Studies & Social Sciences
  • Dept. of Nursing
  • Dept. of Pharmacy
  • Dept. of Science
This makes it a secular University. I, Arjun and Madam Soniaji were there.

Soniaji in her speech went on and on about how good I have been as a Secular Sardarji Economist Prime Minister. I have expanded the educational infrastructure in the country. I have planned to open 370 new colleges in educationally-backward districts which include 90 minority-concentration districts. Good, I am glad I am doing Arjun's job so well.

Buddha says I am still goofing up on my job.


Arjun...being helped on the way out.

Arey bhai, innovative chamchagiri karo. His style was only suitable during the period when I was Indiraji


Saturday, May 10, 2008

Mohin Kahan Vishram

Mohin Kahan Vishram’, is a collection of articles on Arjun Singhs public life. I made an unscheduled appearance at the function for releasing the book. I was a part of the general category of visitors. 56.52% seats which were reserved remained vacant through out the function.

Arjun, without mentioning Soniaji said that the “limited definition” of loyalty was prevalent within the Congress today. Earlier it was plain sycophancy, I wonder what it is now. I hope Arjun lets me in on this. My job is at stake.

Buddhadeb advocated the option for third front alleging that I had failed on all fronts. One has to be blind, foolish and even a liar to even claim that the communist have succeeded in any area!

Progress...this one was painted yesterday!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

It is not the feet, stupid!

I think we all got it wrong. Do you really think Mr. B G Jhalawadia the District Collector of Ameril is going for Narendrabhai's feet in this picture?

Meanwhile I addressed the IAS Probationers of 2007 in Delhi today. I was nice to them. None touched my feet or anywhere else. If Mayawati will become the PM then they will all have to feed her some cake. If Narendrabhai leads the nation....where do you think these young fresh faced young IAS officers will be touching him?
No touching, biching here...Maharani, Dalito ki rakhwali, Maya Memsaheb ko sirf cake khilao.


Saturday, May 03, 2008

The Amitabh Blog

I have competition! Big B is blogging. http://blogs.bigadda.com/ab/ I have put up the link here as Maya Memsaheb has no idea how to check on her competitors.

I really have nothing to blog about today so I have an interesting picture for you to digest.

Can you see the Oracle logo in the background? Oracle diversifying into virtual reality!







Friday, May 02, 2008

Wakf

"Wakf is a permanent dedication of movable or immovable properties for religious, pious or charitable purposes as recognized by Muslim Law. The Wakf Institutions deal with the religious, social and economic life of Muslims. They are not only supporting Mosques, Dargah etc. But many of them support Schools, Colleges, Hospitals and Musafirkhanas which are meant for social welfare."
Priyanka madam did meet Nalini Sriharan. Priyanka madam and her hubby meet me so many times without my security knowing about it. It is only that the Superintendent of Vellore Central Prison is not important enough to be informed if Priyanka Madam is visiting his prison.

The gate through which Priyanka madam did not enter Vellore Central Jail

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Modi gets support from Lashkar

Era of 'Delhi running the country' is over said Narendrabhai at CII conclave. Prof. Hafiz Muhammad Saeed of Lashkar-i-Tayyaba immediately declared his unflinching support for Narendrabhai.

Meanwhile, Time magazine has released the list of top 100 most influential people in the world. I am not one of them. Soniaji is! Ratan Tata is! I, as a Secular Sardarji Economist Prime Minister am unable to have a leaking fire hydrant outside my house fixed. Soniaji please help...

Over the years I have seen many lists. This is a very powerful and popular list. Still in my wildest imagination I cannot see Dalai Lama as the most influential person in the world. I think I will start reading Flimfare and watch their awards, they make lists in similar fashion.

The No 2 most influential person in Time magazine's editorial staff.