Monday, June 30, 2008

Gay future

Gay rights supporters marched in Calcutta, Bangalore and New Delhi pushing for acceptance in Indian society. The sex ratios in India are looking very positive for gay men. They are likely to find acceptance faster. I and Shivraj were wondering if this could be a possible vote bank for the Congress. Maybe we can reserve 2% seats in IIM for homosexuals. It will look so broad minded that even the upper class Hindu vote bank of the BJP may turn to us.

I also discussed the Kashmir situation with Shivraj. We both agreed that one has to be in the opposition to state explicitly that Kashmir is an integral part of India and we do not care two hoots about separatists.

Karat says he will withdraw support to us. Amusing! He really thinks that he has been supporting me during the last four years! I am going to turn to Javedbhai's buddy Mulayam to bail me out.

Javed has some vague connections with Dawood. Mulayam is just a cricket fan

Sunday, June 29, 2008

What shaped Indian History

I believe the partition of India was one even which shaped our history. The other event with a profound impact was a wedding....

The repercussions were experienced years after...

As a Secular Sardraji Economist Prime Minister who has been married for sometime, I cannot marry again to shape history. I am going to spit in the eye of the communist in a way that the nation never ever votes for these commies. We are going to IAEA in July. This will make history.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Need a fatwa from Darul-Uloom Deoband

First, Please read Kashmir Solution for Dummies

Second, please ask the Muslim Personal Law Board to say something about the issue.

Third, let us also hear a fatwa on this from Darul-Uloom Deoband.

I cannot control the inflation if the Indian Muslims do not take a stand. Once for all, will all the Indian Muslim stand up and say that Kashmir is a part of India and there cannot be any discussion on this?

I feel the Communist also should take a stand. Are they Chinese or Indian?

Friday, June 27, 2008


The road from Baltal to Amarnath Shrine.

The net result of this is that BJP has gained votes. Modi has suggested that he move Gujarat closer to Kashmir. He says it will make J&K more secular.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Maharaja Asleep

VP "Mandal" Singh did not celebrate his 75 th birthday. Three reasons for this. First he is in a hospital. Second he has reservations about celebrating in a hospital. Third , other than me no one remembered his birthday.

I heard that Robin Cook is about to release his latest novel in which the plot has sexy Indian women being trained as nurses by unscrupulous medical entrepreneurs in USA for something nasty. This is bad. Communist will tell me...see...this is what they think about us....and Sardar want to sign a deal with them! Shame on you.

I called up Praful to find out how he managed to have an Air India flight flly well past its destination with both its pilots fast asleep in the cockpit. I have quite a few ministries with the pilots asleep, Praful was not one of them.

Other pilots also napping!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Saturday, June 21, 2008

CBI to use Old Monk

I am siting in my bedroom with viral fever. It feels good below the covers, just peeping out once in a while to watch television. I actually have a Sulking Virus and only Karat has the cure for it. Anyway, my Sulking virus fever screwed up Pranab's trip to Australia. What was he going to Australia for? I will check this with Soniaji when I feel better.

The Sulking Virus also has allowed me to watch television. I was impressed with the Arushi murder investigation. I called up the CBI Directior Vijay Shankar. I suggested that CBI should use alcohol in their investigation. Since they given up on good all detective work and mainly rely on lie detector and narco test, I felt a bottle of good old monk Rum will loosen tounges faster. Vijay agreed...hic..hic...

CBI has new tool for investigation!

Inflation due to reservation policy

Since it is quite likely that I will be out of a job soon, I want to be candid and controversial. As per my socio-economic analysis, the inflation is connected with the reservation policy.

If the Bengali and Mallu vote was not reserved for the communist I would have challenged left block I would have gradually increased the prices of petrol and I am sure the nation would have been much happier.

If Gujju vote was not reserved for the BJP, Congress would have been ruling Gujarat and we would have been stronger to take on the communists.

Maya Memsaheb has reserved the votes of the reserved classes in UP. We also tried reserving these votes but Maya Memsaheb did it fatser and better.

Bihar was earlier reserved for Laloo. Since the Biharis have discovered their intelligence, Laloo has been our stong supporter. This dereservation has worked for us.

There are many other reservations. If these reservations did not exsist maybe the nation would vote for more electricity and lower inflation. And the guys like me can do their job.

Sonia Madam has been under training of this reservation policy since long!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Bashar al-Assad

Our communists think that India will become a fully owned subsidiary of USA if we sign the nuclear deal. That is not the case. Look, who is visiting India. The Syrian President Bashar al-Assad! Now can anyone who aspires to be a subsidiary of USA host the Syrian President? Tell me baba? Anyway I was so busy with this nice person I could not meet the secular communists. Our meeting has be slated for the next week now.

Syrians - Are you sure? Mera Syria ka image hi change kar diya!

While ensuring that my ministers do not stare too much at Mrs.
Bashar, we signed a agreement to avoid double taxation. Good Work for today!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Left eye wide shut

Received this picture from the Condi. I suppose it means that I have to do it now or the nuclear deal is over. With my left eye wide shut, I do not know how I can save our country. It is a black out!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Personal touch

We in the Congress give a personal touch to all our electoral moves. I am going to personally write to all the farmers whose loan we are going to waive off in their own language. I am also going to attach a pledge with the letter that they will vote for Congress in the next election. They will have to sign the pledge and take it to the bank.

One of the farmers in Maharashtra who will get this personal letter from me.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Kashmir Solution for Dummies

The day I return to blog, Indian soldiers and policeman are killed in Kashmir. A very sad event.

As a Secular Sardarji Economist Prime Minister I have come up with simple solution to the Kashmir problem. Even before I type it I know the ruckus I am going to create by writing this, but as you know I am a Sardar first and then a Prime Minister.

Never mind all the stupid thing I did in 1947 when I was Jawaharlal Nehru. Forget about the UN resolution for the moment.

At the heart of it all, Kashmirs want a separation form India because it is a Muslim dominated region and the partition of India took place based on religion. Pakistan supports them because they are Muslims. So if we have to decide by plebiscite to determine if Kashmir can have independence who is to vote? The entire Muslim population of India.

Once we have the results of a plebiscite with the entire Muslim population in India saying yes or no to Kashmiri independence we can make a proper action plan as to what we can do on the special constitutional status of Kashmir. We can also forget about all UN resolutions after that.

After that can anyone in the world dare ask an Indian again for a separation based on religion?

If I am Politically smart I can try this, but we all are secular dummies.

A few of the other things I did when I was Nehru.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Back on 14 June 2008

I will be back on this blog on 14 June 2008.

This break should not stop you from visiting this site again and again to click on the Google advertisments on this page. Even if I become Rahul, I will need to keep this Private Prime Minister relief fund going.

Please click on the Google advertisements on this page. I too have a personal car.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Sales tax ki Maya jal

Mayawati Naina Kumari (Maya Memsaheb) has turned down my request to reduce the sales tax on petrol in her state. She say she has a majority in the assembly on her own and does not need to take weak steps like this.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Protestors Prepare

As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister, I believe we did the right thing for the nation by increasing the price of petrol. Allies and opposition are getting ready to protest.

The left block will get everybody, including their trainee protesters to protest.

The BJP will protest in their alternative and most sucessful transport system

Indian Airline is likely to explore alternative logo to get their message through.

The rich and the famous have started practicing with the likely alternative arrangement...

Bengaluru International Airport.

I have accepted Chief Minister B S Yeddyurappas invitation to inaugurate the Bengaluru International Airport. I would have not accepted the invitation had I known that he is planning to invite Narendrabhai Modi to inaugurate the road which leads to the airport.

On the other hand, Muslim in Rajkot took out a protest march against a statement by Syed Bukhari, of Jama Masjid in Delhi calling Narenderabhai Modi a terrorist. The protesters performed a mock operation of Imam’s brain, so that next time he refrains from making such statements.

I do not know which direction this secularism is headed....have to discuss this with Soniaji.

Brains?Below that tent on his head?

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Adobe Buzzword

Adobe Buzzword is like Rajasthan Royals. A surprising winner. I never expected Adobe to create a nice online office application.

Why is the Saradarji Economist Prime Minister writing about this? Just wanted to talk straight without being afraid of the left parties.

Our high command...we will soon get the direction right!

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Muslims issue a Fatwa at Ramlila Grounds

Darul-Uloom Deoband issued a fatwa before a huge gathering of Muslims in Delhi’s Ramlila Ground. Nice eh? Muslims issuing a Fatwa against terrorism at Ramlila Grounds. It reminds me of Dr. Rahi Masoom Reza writing the script of the TV Series Mahabharata. Feels so Congress like. Very nice. If this goes on for some more time how will BJP ask for Hindu votes and we the Muslim vote?

As a Sardarji Economist Prime Minister, I feel this was one of the easier Fatwas Darul-Uloom Deoband issued. As a Secular Sardarji Economist Prime Minister I felt it was my duty this Sunday to list the complex scientific work Darul-Uloom Deoband does.

The major categorize they work on are listed below and take you to their website for details:

Nikah (Marriage)
Talaq (Divorce)
Food & Drinks
Morals & Manners
Clothing & Lifestyle
Education & Upbringing
Women's Issues

Here is one of the complex issue they handled

Question: 3809 United Arab Emirates

Aslamo Alaikum, I m 26yr Pakistani Muslim Male Working in UAE since 2Years Plus, I am engaged in Pakistan with a close cousin from last 5 years. In UAE i found a Christian Lady Married with a Hindu based on a Fake Document ( Hindu male was already Married in India & He make Fake Death Certificate of his indian wife to marraige with this Christian Lady). When i come to know this Christian Lady, She is already seperated from that hindu long time ago. We make relationship & adultry, later we repented & ask Forgiveness from Allah. when i give her Quran to read, She Emrased Islam With the Will of Allah Al Mighty & started Praying Alhamdulillah. Now i want to marry with her for her better Religious & Social Life. She is 37yr Old & she knows i m engaged in Pakistan. Neither i want to leave Pakistani Fiance (becoz she loves me and waiting for me & have her hopes & future planes for me )nor this Lady. And if i tell about this lady in pakistan there is aurgument & querl + Pak.Fiance will get hurt because nearly i m going to marry with her also and she is from relatives. So, My Question: 1. Is it Possible according to Haddith & Quran that i Marry with this Christian Lady ( Newly Muslim) Quiettly, without Contesting with Parents & Fiancee in pakistan for Peace? 2. Do her Hindu marriage is False already? Becoz that was not with the name of Pure Allah And Plus this lady is Muslim now. Please help me in this Serious matter. Ma-Salam.

Answer: 3809 13 May, 2008

(Fatwa: 774/580=H)

Get yourself separated immediately from the Christian girl and avoid intermingling with her. Had you sent the details of how she married and how she got separation, then we would have explained whether the separation took place or not as per Islam.

However, now also you are advised to forsake the intention of marrying a Christian girl. You should perform nikah with the Muslim fianc?e and start living with her. Then at some other occasion, when the local Ulama are satisfied with the imaan of the Christian girl you will be informed of Shariah ruling about the nikah.

and Allah (Subhana Wa Ta'ala) Knows Best

Darul Ifta, Darul Uloom Deoband